She | h.s

forty-nine

"Elio I..." I say, quickly standing to my feet to meet eyes with his. I can see his exhaustion, deep set eye bags and emotionless expression.

"Niall wanted me to go get you, I think he's taking you home." He says simply, and I nod my head.

"Are... are you okay? You know that you don't have to be, right? I mean, I don't think I'm okay and I'm not even the one who tried to stab a man with an umbrella." I joke, trying to light up the situation we were in.

He lets out a soft chuckle, nodding his head. "I don't know if I'm okay, but I'll figure it out." He says simply and I nod.

I step closer awkwardly, wrapping my arms around him and he reciprocates it. His arms pull me closer by the waist, and we both let out shaky breathes. We both knew how each other was feeling, we didn't need to say it out loud. We pull away as the door opens, Niall, Sarah, and Louis walking out of it. They look at us sympathetically and I walk over to them, enveloping them into a hug.

"Oh love," Sarah says into my hair, and I try to stop myself from crying again.

"Here," Sarah says, nudging me as she hands me a bottle of water. "I got it at the vending machine, I think you need it." She tells me and I nod, silently thanking her. I see her pull another bottle of water out, handing it to Elio and he smiles, thanking her as well.

"Can I... Can I call you?" I ask Elio, and he nods, taking a sip of his water. "I just.... I don't think I'm allowed to stay at my place right now.... It's kind of a crime scene," I say, making him smile.

"I don't think I wanna stay there for a bit either," I say and he nods, understanding why.

"Of course you can." He says, "Text me anytime, anywhere, I'll answer I swear." He says, making me smile.

We bid our goodbyes, and I kiss him on the cheek before getting into Niall's car, sitting up in the passenger seat. We sit there quietly, the car's speaker filling the space with soft hums of Cherry Wine by Hozier, and I glance at the clock to see the bright red numbers on the dashboard.

2:54 am.

We had been out for hours, and I was exhausted. I stare out the window, watching the pitch black sky as the moon follows us, leaning my head against the cold glass.

"I don't think I wanna go to school today," I say.

"It's okay, you don't have to." Louis reassured me from behind, his hand stretching out to rub my shoulder from the seat behind me.

"We can all ditch too if you need us to," Niall offers, making me shake my head.

"I don't know when I do want to go back to school, I can't make you guys hit pause on your lives just because mine isn't doing too good. I cant force you guys to do that." I say.

"You aren't forcing anyone to do anything, we understand." Niall says, patting my leg as he pulls into a gas station.

"Okay, I don't know about you guys but I'm fucking starving. Do you guys want anything? Fuck it, let's all go inside." He says, making me smile as I undo my seatbelt and climb out of the car.

"I look like shit," I gape at my reflection in the glass, the harsh fluorescent lighting not doing anything to ease me. "I'm gonna get a can of coke, maybe I can use it to stop my eyes from swelling so much." I say to them, making them laugh.

"I didn't wanna say anything earlier, but your eyes look like you've been eaten by a bug." Louis says, making me gasp in offense. I flick him off, making him laugh as he grabs a pack of Cocoa Pops.

Walking over the ice cream freezer, I stand there looking for my options next to Niall in silence. Grabbing one, I turn to him and fill him in.

"I called Harry earlier..." I start, making him nod. "I think he might just hate me now," I say.

"Why?" Niall asks me and I shrug, my lips pulling into a shrug.

"He found out about Elio, after he sang to me this amazing song that I'm probably going to romanticize for the next few weeks to be about me," I say to him.

"What's the song about?" He asks curiously.

"It's called 'Half the World Away,' " I say, smiling sadly.

"That sounds....extremely specific and targeted," Niall comments, making me glare at him until he stopped.

"I want you around, round, round. Are we going down, down, down? I want you around, round, round...Are we going down, down, down?...." I start to hum, bopping my head until Niall suddenly bops the back of my head.

"Ouch! Niall what the fuck?!" I ask, holding my head.

"Is that the song?" He asks, disregarding the fact that he had just whacked me in the head. I nod at his words, still clutching the back my head.

"You absolute idiot," He shakes his head in disbelief. "He's in love with you, by the way." He says, walking away from me and I groan.

"I really can't do this today, I just went through something traumatic, I don't want to add delusion to the mix." I say, rolling my eyes as I hand him the can of coke and the ice cream cup I got.

Sarah and Louis stand behind us, placing their items on the counter as well as handing Niall their money, I do the same.

"Harry is in love with you, and you told him that you were seeing Elio?" He says frustratedly.

"What else was I supposed to say? Harry has never shown interest in me, so he had absolutely no place to call it, and I quote, "Fucking ridiculous" for me to go out with someone." I cross my arms at him.

"He was hurt, because he loves you." Niall says simply and I shake my head at him, refusing to agree.

"Well he's hurt me a lot, so..." I shrug

"You're absolutely impossible," He says, paying for our food as he walks away. "If I were you I would ditch Elio, and finally, finally get my shit together and tell Harry the truth. The whole truth. No more white lies, no more stretching it to fit any sort of narrative, the entire truth." He says, making me gulp.

"I can't exactly—-"

"No, you can. But that's the thing, you won't. You don't want to. You complain about how much it hurts and ignore all the signs, I'm starting to believe that you're some sort of sadist." Niall says as we make it back into the car.

His words are harsh, but completely and utterly true. I cross my arms at him as I look out the passenger side's window, the moon gleaming against the dark sky and I try to compose myself.

"Look, I'm just.... I'm really tired..." I say, picking up my phone for the first time since Harry had hung up on me, silently hoping that he had texted.

No new messages.

iMessage 1h ago
elio kennedy
i just got home, i hope you're okay

I ignore Elio's message, scavenging every single social media platform for any sign of Harry, and to my disappointment I find absolutely nothing.

"Fuck," I mutter under my breath, "I'm just really tired okay? Can we talk about it in the morning?" I say to Niall, feeling utterly defeated and he nods, driving us away.