emmylou | natasha romanoff

thirty-nine.

2016
St. Petersburg, Russia

Natasha woke with a start as and she looked around quickly to see that she was in her bedroom. Her shoulder sagged and she looked beside her in the bed to see Kennedy lying there, spread out like a little starfish as she slept quietly. She smiled at the sight as she began to relax.

She was still in Ohio.

She was home.

She looked over at Kennedy once more before climbing out of the bed and carefully stepping over Yelena's makeshift bed on the floor and into the hallway. With quiet and careful steps, she made her way down the hall and stairs. She headed outside and went over toward the playset, taking a seat at the bottom of the slide.

The nightmares of the Red Room kept Natasha awake at night and when she did find sleep, she couldn't go long without the wretched place sneaking into her subconscious.

"Can't sleep?"

She spun to see Melina – well her mother – standing there. Natasha shook her head and Melina nods as she walks over to Natasha, tapping her shoulder, "Up."

Natasha stands and Melina sits where Natasha once was and the young girl crawls into her lap.

"How'd you know?" Natasha asks.

"Your steps aren't as quiet as you think they are," Melina says as she tickles Natasha's side, making her giggle. Melina smiles down at the girl, "I thought the nightmares were getting better?"

"They are. Kennedy makes them better," Natasha says softly, "But sometimes they sneak in, and then I can't sleep."

"You want to know something?" Melina asks and Natasha nods her head, "Sometimes I get bad dreams too."

"Really?" Natasha asks, "But you're-"

"So cool?" Melina finishes and Natasha laughs as she shakes her head.

"No, you're an adult. Adults aren't supposed to get bad dreams," Natasha tells her.

"Well, I get them," Melina tells her, "And mine are of the Red Room too."

"How do you make them go away?" Natasha asks as she looks up at Melina with wide curious eyes.

"You think of things that make you happy. Things that make you feel safe," Melina tells her.

"What makes you feel safe?"

"You," Melina answers, "Yelena. Your father. The Allens."

"They can't fight," Natasha states.

"No," Melina says, "A safe place isn't just people being able to fight for you. It's somewhere you feel comfortable. Where you can be yourself with people that you care about. And even though the Allens can't fight, I know that they would do anything for us."

"I feel safe here," Natasha says, "With you and Kennedy and Yelena and dad."

Melina smiles, "I think you found something to ward away the bad dreams."

Natasha looks up at Melina, tears forming in her green eyes, "I don't want to go back. I want to stay here."

"I know," Melina says, "I want to stay here too."

"Then why don't we?" Natasha asks.

It was a difficult question and Melina wanted to tell Natasha that they could, that she would never take her back to that awful place.

"Natasha, we've only been here a year. This mission is going to take a long time. Don't think about going back to the Red Room. Think about right here, right now."