Utaite Oneshots✨

Games. (A/Vent)

(A/N)

I swear to fucking god if any of you say shit like "mood" or "haaaa same" I will fucking lose it and you need to gtfo because I genuinely am being serious right now and I don't need no fucking commentary to be on the end of my nerves that feel like absolute shit.
You all have done it in the past and I was genuinely upset with it at first but now I'm just fucking through with it.

And no, stfu, don't even I'm fucking overwhelmed right now if you couldn't tell by my tone and I genuinely don't need comments or shit being like "Oh are you okay :(?" Because clearly I am not and feel like absolute shit.

Not the best for a comeback but who gives a flying fuck?

I'm fucking sorry actually but I can't deal with people like this anymore so without further a fucking do,

Let's begin shall we?

-

If the world spins,
Why hasn't it spun for me?
It's all a frozen world,
Never transcending,
And not a single color.

Life is a mere game,
Death is the exit,
But I should've taken that route before.

The world spins nonstop,
In dull gray colors,
Each and everything seemingly turning darker by the moment.

If one thing were to make me smile,
It'd be to see that wonderful hope,
One I've lost ages ago.

Not even you,
A loved one so dear,
Can make me smile.

Despite being a ball of sunshine on the outside,
There's still so much I hide on the inside.

The world supposedly spins,
Yet my bitter heart merely crumbles into ash.

I'm sick of it all;
The smiling, laughs, games, acts of kindness, generosity.
It's all tiring.

But yet.
I can't stop smiling,
I can't stop laughing,
I can't stop playing the game what we call life,
I can't stop helping others,
I can't stop bluntly letting my actions go to waste,
Favors turned over into service.

Pain has been everything and yet,
I want to find hope.
I want to find light,
I want to find something that makes me want to continue this game of life.

Yet,
I can't help but say,
I'm tired of being tired.
I'm tired of being nice,
I'm tired of being happy,
I'm tired of trying to help others.

But,
I still can't bring myself to do it.