young god- d.m.

eighty-one

LISTEN TO THE SONG AS YOU READ

I hope this last draco chapter gives you the closure you need and the forgiveness that will heal the biggest question I was asked.

𓆙━━━━━━━━━━━━━━𓆙
𝗗𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗼 𝗠𝗮𝗹𝗳𝗼𝘆
𓆙━━━━━━━━━━━━━━𓆙

THE SUMMER AFTER FOURTH YEAR

The first time Marley Kingsley and I kissed was only the beginning of what seemed to be mild repercussions that lasted forever. It was the worst thing and the best all in one small tortuously slow moment.

Time moved by more lifeless when we were apart and faster when were together. But that feeling hurt most times and the unlikely chance of change was there to slap me every time.

She was the only one I ever wanted to run into- searching for her in every setting... in every classroom... in every lesson at Hogwarts. In every hallway and every empty corridor. In the common room, she was the first thing my eyes searched for and when we had exams I would stare at the back of her hair, wondering if she was thinking the same heart racing thought as I was.

By the end of our fourth year, our interactions became more frequent- falling faster than I ever imagined or expected. I needed a plan. I needed a plan because the predicament I was in was.. wrong.

It was fucked up- I know that. I was in a relationship when Marley and I fell in love. Marley knew.. I knew.. and yet with all the tear-stained pillows and awkward entanglements full of regret- we both knew that what we were doing was immoral.

Pansy Parkinson was the greatest friendship I ever had. She got me through all of my darkest thoughts as a child. She was patient and she was kind. But she was also whiskey in a teacup-beautiful on the outside and fierce on the inside.

And I did.. I did love her. But it was never the same love I had for Marley and it never will.

Pansy and I loved each other in a different ways. We both felt as if we had a relationship in which there was no love or emotional fulfillment, but only a codependent need for affirmation.

Of course, we both had our faults. We fought like no other we knew. We drifted when things got serious during the Tri-Wizard events. Started partying and even worse- parting ways sexually.. emotionally.. mentally.

I don't know if we convinced ourselves of this or not, but we were terrible for each other. We clashed and yet we're so alike that nothing worked between us. WE would fight, then makeup. Then fight again and scream until we had some small understanding of peace.

In the beginning of the summer after fourth year, I knew that I needed to put the ghost of the two of us to rest. Sending the soul of any part of us back to the depths of hell.. Only for us to know. We knew about the good parts.. the happy parts of our relationship that reminded us that we both bled the same.

"Pansy," I greeted her happily after a long post-school celebration dinner at her house in northeast London. "Thank you for inviting me up here, I know we haven't chatted like this in a while."

She graciously accepted my hug, but immediately pulled away at the brash in the sound of my voice. Pansy frowned at me, instantly knowing what was about to happen. Her head was hung lower suddenly, like what we were doing was already hurting the both of us. "You're going to have the talk with me, right?"

I froze at the way she said what she did. My mouth opened, but nothing came out. And she smiled slightly at my appearance. "Oh my. Speechless Malfoy is a sight to see. What will our parents say?"