"For the ocean is endless, just like my love for you. Endlesslys yours."
- Anten Rodgen
"The ocean is forever there, it will be there for every death and every life. Thats why I love it. It will never leave you. Only you can leave it."
-Briella Pa...
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"The only way to heal is to let it out."
Today it was raining, it was beautiful. The rain fell like whatever happened wasn't going to be there forever, so might as well make an impact.
That's what I wish I could do, I wish I could get up every day and do something special, be something special. I don't care about attention or money, or any of the things most people do good things for.
I just want to leave the earth knowing I did something. That my life wasn't a waste. That I wasn't a nobody that only took instead of giving as well.
| <3 |
"You are nothing! All you are is a waste of breath, a waste of my hard-earned money. You only take!! You took my husband! He left because of you! Why do you hate me?!" My own mother screamed at me. I was weeping on the floor while she towers above me, yelling.
I knew she was drunk. It was rare when I saw my mom not at the bar or with another man. She was rarely at home.
"Mom, just stop please, just come home. For me? Please?" I sobbed. There were tear stains all over my clothes. While my mom didn't even shed a single tear. All she ever did was yell, yell, and more yelling.
"You want to know the reason why I never come home?" She yelled at me. I shook my head no, but she just kept talking. "I never come home, because I hate seeing your face. I never come home, because I hate knowing you're using me, using me for yourself instead of going out and getting a job, and fending for yourself you ungrateful brat!"
I was only 13.
"I didn't mean to hurt you. I never wanted to hurt you." I whispered. My tears were drowning out all of the yellings. "Sure you didn't," she said. There was sarcasm in her voice.
What my mom did next, well I was never the same. She raised her hand...
| <3 |
"Bri!" Ronella spoke loudly as she shook me from my bad memory. "You were thinking about it again weren't you?" She asked. I looked over at her face and saw pity. It's always a pity. "No, just thinking," I responded. I could see from the corner of my eye she didn't believe it, but she didn't ask further. Which I was very grateful for.
"Sooooo you gonna talk about that boy?" She asked excitedly. How did she know about him, unless she...
"I read your diary. Now I know you said not to, but I wanted to make sure you were okay. You weren't texting me or calling, and I tried knocking on your door yesterday, but you didn't answer." Ronella tried explaining. I didn't really care that she read it. It's just a bunch of words all crumbled together to tell stories, and explain feelings the best way possible. Maybe I should try drawing. At least then no one can understand it, but I probably wouldn't understand any of it either.
