"For the ocean is endless, just like my love for you. Endlesslys yours."
- Anten Rodgen
"The ocean is forever there, it will be there for every death and every life. Thats why I love it. It will never leave you. Only you can leave it."
-Briella Pa...
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"I love you"
"I don't know what's going to happen after I die, but I want you to know that I will be okay. I promise." Bri's voice cracks. "I know you will, my love, when you leave, can you give me a sign that you're okay?" I question. Bri just nods, not having the strength to respond with words. She closes her eyes and breathes deeply. "I'm scared Anten. I'm not brave. I wish I was like Moana, she's braver than I could ever be." I look at her, she has no idea.
"You are better than Moana, you are Briella Rodgen. The most strongest person I will ever know. You have gone through so much in your life Bri. You have made a difference in everyone's life. I promise that you are stronger than anyone Especially Moana. I promise to love you forever." I say.
Briella takes a deep breath. She closes her eyes and is finally at peace. She has the peace she's always deserved.
"I love you so much Anten. I never got to thank you for making my life worth it. Worth something... to someone. When you join me, can we dance away together in the stars?" I don't know what to say to that. "Anything for you."
Briella grabs my hand and smiles.
"I love you. Til the ocean dries up. Til the only thing left is us, and the stars. I love you to the end of ocean. I will always love you Anten." Bri says. By the time she's finished talking, I feel tears go down my cheek. Briella sees them and looks at me with sorrow. She wipes my tears away with her hand and then goes to hold mine. "I don't know what I'm going to do without you Bri. Life won't be the same." Bri just smiles a sad smile at me. "I know love. It won't be for a while, but I know you will be okay, and know that I will be by your side, even if you can't see me. I will always be with you." Bri's voice begins to die down, and as she's done speaking, I know that she is slowly losing her breath. She's dying, and there's nothing I can do about it, but watch, and be there for her. "I love you too Briella. Forever." I grasp what little of her I have left before it's all gone forever. Before I lose her forever. I hold her hand tightly. She smiles at me, a weak, brittle smile. One that tells me she's gonna be okay. She is gonna be okay.
I suppose that's the hardest thing about having someone you love pass. The fact that you need to let them go for them to really be at peace.
I get up from my seat to go lay down next to her. To hold her. One last time. I touch play with her hair and hold her hand as the last of her tears fall.
I breathe in a deep breath.
And let her go.
"It's okay Bri. I will be okay. You can let go now" I used the last of my strength to tell her that I will be okay. She was holding on for me. She was being strong for me. Now it's time for me to be strong for her.
Bri nods her head and takes a breathe of relief.
Her last breath
The heart rate monitor flatlines, and then my Briella, the love of my life, my person, is gone forever.
I hug her tighter. Holding on a little longer.
I will never see her beautiful smile, or the way her eyes shine when she sees something she loves, the way her hugs feel, her kisses, late nights with her, dancing on the beach. It's all gone. I will never get that back. Never.
My Briella is gone.
The tears feel like they are never going to stop. They keep going, on and on, one after the other. I feel dead inside without my light. Darkness. That's all I am now. Is pure darkness. I feel Briellas hand go cold, and her face begins to lose its color. Her hand goes limp in mine. I never want to let go, but I know I have to. It's what she would want. I look out onto the ocean and I know that's where my Bri is. "I will love you, and we will be together again. In the stars." I promise.
