"For the ocean is endless, just like my love for you. Endlesslys yours."
- Anten Rodgen
"The ocean is forever there, it will be there for every death and every life. Thats why I love it. It will never leave you. Only you can leave it."
-Briella Pa...
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"I swear I'm trying."
"I'm so tired, Anten." I say, almost so quietly it's barely audible. "I know." He reassures me and he strokes my hair. I'm at yet another doctor's appointment. Sitting in a chair waiting for this hour's medication. I decided to go through with chemo, hoping, praying even, that I had a small chance. I don't really care if I die, this is all for Anten. After the medication I sit up from my seat and go back to my hospital bed. It's quite cozy, with my pink blanket lying on top, and my dolphin stuffed animal I got from Anten for my birthday. I lay down, trying to breathe. It's always having to breathe. What has my life come to. What am I doing with it? "You're doing amazing, Bri. I promise you will be okay. Everything will be okay soon." Anten tries to reassure me. I close my eyes. All I want is peace, to feel no more pain, to be okay again, cause right now, nothing is okay. I don't know if anything will ever be okay anymore. Instead of telling Anten any of that, I just nod my head. He signs and goes back to the couch he's been sleeping on for the past couple of days I've been here. Tears begin to fall once more. Always with the tears. I sit up and take a deep breath. I look over at Anten who's already looking over at me. "I swear I'm trying." I wanted to continue, but if I did I would start crying more, and I already look weak enough from all the crying I've been doing. Anten gets up from his seat, his gaze is soft, his eyes are glossed over with tears. He comes over and sits at the end of my bed. "I know you are, and I am sorry if you think I've been too hard on you, I don't want to put any pressure on you." I laugh a little, which confuses Anten, but still makes him smile. "You could never do anything wrong, I just don't want you to be disappointed in me." Antens eyes go wide. "Hey. I will never in a million years ever be disappointed in you. I love you so much Bri." He tells me. "I love you, Anten." That's when I realize that it's not Me against the world, but us. It's Anten and I against the world. That's when I know, everything will be okay.
