"For the ocean is endless, just like my love for you. Endlesslys yours."
- Anten Rodgen
"The ocean is forever there, it will be there for every death and every life. Thats why I love it. It will never leave you. Only you can leave it."
-Briella Pa...
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"It's fear, you can either float or let it drown you."
"I can't believe this! What type of daughter are you? You useless piece of shit!"
My mother spoke to me those words, she actually said those things to me.
My mother thinks I'm a useless piece of shit.
My mother thinks I'm useless.
I run up the stairs crying, I couldn't help it. She never yelled at me like that.
She never hit me like that.
She never hit me.
My own mother hit me.
"Yeah go crying you brat! You know what I've done for you! I've given everything up for you! Your own father even left you! I didn't! I stayed!" My mother yells, but I can't hear much over my own crying. I open my door and slam it behind me. Jumping on my bed, I bury my face in my pillow. I don't wanna live like this anymore. I can't live like this anymore. I don't have anything in this life for me. Why god? Why do I get this shitty life, while others are living happily with their families? I just wanna have my family back. I wanna have a mom that doesn't hit me. I wanna have a dad.
I don't know how long I've been crying like that until I fall asleep.
I wake up seeing it's dark outside, meaning my mom is no longer home, she hasn't been home often anymore, normally it use to be just the nighttime that she was gone, I only know that cause I once had a nightmare and went to find her already gone, but now it's not just nights anymore, shes gone during the day too. It's summer right now so It's not like she has to take me to school or bring me back. I don't even like coming back. The only times I feel safe are at school and when I'm asleep. I'm only 13, normally school is the last place kids my age wanna be.
I don't know what happened or how I got there, but now I'm by the beach, by the ocean.
I can't breathe anymore.
I can't see.
Everything is blurry.
It's so dark now.
It's safe.
| <3 |
"Briella!" I hear someone yelling my name, but I have no clue who it is.
"Briella you need to wake up!" I jolt awake to find Anten there shaking me awake. He looks worried. I hope he doesn't ask what I was dreaming about.
"Are you okay? I was so scared," he said softly. His voice is so soothing. I kinda wish he could talk to me like that all the time. I then realize he asked me a question. "I guess, I mean it can't get any worse, and I'm not dead, so yeah, I'm okay," I say. Anten nods his head and I think he's relieved. I don't know why he would need to be so worried unless... I look done and see my clothes are drenched in sweat. My throat feels sore. Meaning I've been screaming. I had yet another nightmare. And Anten was here for it.
