What's Wrong With My Bodyguard

Chapter 28 : Questions

Porsche's POV

The scene in front of me drove my patience to its limit as I forcefully closed the door behind me. Though I saw Kinn get up from the couch as I was leaving, I didn't expect him to follow me.

There's no sign of him going after me anyway. I walked out of the house with a trembling heart and knuckles almost white from the tight grip.

Damn! I felt like I've been brutally hit with a log. If he came out to explain even for a bit that I misunderstood the scene that I saw just now, I might hold back and listen to him.

But no, I won't get fussy and overly dramatic like a heroine in a Thai drama like that. I tried to walk calmly and processed the image I had just seen. I seek alllogical reasons since what we see might not always be what we think...But if the pain has come to this extent and Kinn didn't come to explain, not even walking out to insist that I misunderstood, then maybe things must be just as it is.

Damn!!! It hurts so much! But come to think of it, Kinn didn't have the obligation to explain anything and tell me what happened or come out and let me understand at all.Damn bastard!!! You're stupid, Porsche!What you feel right now is disgusting.

Can't you see how Tawan and Marsh looked? How dare you to compare yourself with the two of them? It's nothing new to me that Kinn is a playboy. How could I easily trust the damn bastard? How could I believe that he likes me and felt the same towards me when I knew from the start that he's a damn player?!I hate myself!! I hate him! This is embarrassing! To be able to endure this kind of shit, to be able to accept my feelings for him that when I want to forget him, I wanted him even more!

"Where are you going, Porsche?"Arm asked as I passed through the gate without answering his question.

I couldn't stand here anymore. If I stayed any longer, I'm going to experience feelings that I would want to reinforce myself over and over again.It fucking hurts. It's making my knees weak as if I'm going to collapse to the ground. I want to release all this energy that's overflowing from my chest.

I want to free myself from these shitty feelings. I forced my legs to hold up and walk the short distance towards the road, not daring to even let myself look weak in front of the unknown guards at the gate. It would be too embarrassing.

I hit the taxi and let it drive me towards Tem's house with only the phone in my pocket. I want to go home but at this point, I want to be with someone so that I would feel less alone.

Why did I let myself fall with Kinn so easily? This feeling was so real that I could feel it flowing to every cell in my body. This was the first time it happened to me. To like someone not just physically but also mentally.

I could honestly say that I've never committed my feelings to anyone this much. Even though I've had some female girlfriends, I never felt... yeah like I would.

Lose...

To completely lose myself. I couldn't fight everything that's on my mind. Kinn was all over my system. He was like a thief in the night, go over my walls then closed the exit and locked it inside like that. Someone who could break through the feelings in my heart.

He has become someone so special that I have to feel this excruciating pain because of him. It felt like someone has taken a stone and was continuously hammering my chest.

Knock knock

I walked up to Tem's door... It's a luck that the taxi driver could accept online payments by phone, so it's not much of a problem. I know I might appear infront of him like a dead person, besides, I came here without telling him at all. Forgot to think about whether he will be in the house or not.