What's Wrong With My Bodyguard

Chapter 30 : Too Late Pt.1

Kinn's POV

"I never had anything and never thought about it but now, I'm starting to think..." I stood leaning against the window sill in my office before lighting the third cigarette after coming home from university.

I sighed incessantly. In myhead, Porsche's words kept repeating like a loose tape. The event that just happened had me stunned until now.

I was so shocked that I didn't know what to do after all this.

"My friend's life is now lost because of me."

"Why Pete?"Arm asked in a hushed tone.

"Huh, I want to slap myself. I am stupid, it all happened because of my stupidity."Pete stood there, head bowed down low and looked like death.

"Fuck, Pete shut up!"I yelled at him as I blew the smoke from my cigarette. I feel like everything around me now is annoying and causing a disturbance in my thoughts.

"How is he?"

Arm asked again silently.

"Huh, Porsche I'm sorry."Pete murmured, calling out the name of that single person who made me lose my sanity.

It's hard to believe that every action that he takes, affects my life so much especially my mental state.

"Tell me about him, I want to know!" Arm asks Pete once again and I stand in silence.

I open the window and my eyes stretch to look out into the horizon.

"It was two days ago when I secretly followed Mr. Vegas. I saw him with Porsche at the mall. They seem to have eaten dinner then when they're done, I took a picture to tease Porsche but I accidentally sent it to Mr.Kinn instead. Ahh! I'm so stupid!"

"Then why didn't you delete the message or cancel the send?"

"I-I don't know how.""

Ugh, you're really stupid."I heard my two subordinates talk clearly. No matter how much they lowered their voices, I could still hear them.

[T/N: Pete vs Technology 🤦‍♀😂]

Everything was just as Pete said. I had him follow Vegas and look at his everyday schedule for suspicious activities. But what I got instead was a good shot that had me driving to Tem's place in no time. The scene of Vegas riding the bike while Porsche rides behind him made my blood boil.

I am so confused with my emotions right now. I felt sore. It hurts to see him smile, to see them laugh together. Moreover, when he acted intimately and snuggled to Vegas like that, it caused me so much pain that I couldn't even describe it in words.

The sight made me want to grab Porsche and pull him back into my arms. But what happened was completely my fault. I chose to distance myself from him. I spent so much time on myself that I forgot to think about how Porsche would feel.

What a stupid thing to do. I fucked up trying to find answers but have forgotten how much he would get hurt from my actions. If I could turn back time, I won't make him feel sad or cry like today.

Porsche must have endured so much already. I don't deserve to be forgiven.Today, when he sought answers and clarity from me, I wasn't in my right mind to answer. I was so surprised by his sudden outburst of emotions that I got stunned and unable to open my mouth for an answer, which ruined everything.

I couldn't answer him right away because of the thoughts that ran across my mind. I couldn't bear to see Porsche in that state. Besides, confessing my true feelings wouldn't guarantee that he won't be in that same state weeks or months later.