Mayari

The Ruler and The Killer

It has been four weeks. Four, long, sexually charged, but abstinent weeks. When you woke up at the compound, you had to learn how to walk with crutches and your cast. Loki was impatient, however, and he just decided that it would be faster and easier for him to just carry you around everywhere. That was mistake number one. Having constant contact with you, and having your arms around him, just fed his obsession with you more. Not to mention that he developed this hero/damsel-in-distress complex that he enjoyed too much.

Mistake number two was temporarily moving into his bedroom at the tower. At his insistence. He claims that it's so he can be at your beck and call.

"It would be easier if you were just there already in my bed...room, darling." You rolled your eyes at that argument. You gave in eventually, even so much as letting him help you with your baths. Your favorite time of the day, you had to admit. But stopped him when he offered to help with your other private bathroom issues. Which leads to mistake number three.

Mistake number three came in the form of privacy. There wasn't much you could hide, good or bad when Loki was around you constantly. There were times when you felt so low at not having made progress with your transformation. You didn't want him to see that. You still donned the black absent eyes and the black absent hair. Nothing you did could change you back. Not even sunlight. It made you turn hopeless and depressed. It felt like that's all Loki saw of you. It was a constant reminder of how weak you were and how you constantly needed his help.

It was a regular thought in the back of your mind. Your father was right! You aren't strong enough. You can't protect yourself. You should've stayed on the island. Disobeying Steve's orders about staying on the jet. Having injured yourself and now paying the consequences of your actions. These thoughts would send you down a dark spiral of self-loathing and hate. You felt like everything that has happened in your life up to this point was because you weren't capable. You weren't enough.

When Loki would notice he would always hold you a little bit tighter. He would turn it into "an inside" day. He would sit you in front of the fireplace with your favorite album on the record player and a constant supply of snacks. He would then sit next to you reading his books with your legs on top of his lap until you were ready to talk.

You tried to hide those days. You tried to limit those days as much as possible. You didn't want to worry Loki. He shouldn't have to deal with your problems too. He was already taking care of you physically. He didn't need the burden of your mental and emotional baggage as well.

Today was one of those days. Loki and Thor were traveling to New Asgard. You were worried about what you would do without Loki to be your support. Physically and emotionally. But he had to go, so you put on a brave face for him.

Loki tried to back out and insisted on staying on your behalf. But Thor demanded. The encampments have gotten worse. The local government would not listen to Val alone anymore. They insisted on speaking with 'the rightful person in charge.' Whatever that means. So Thor made plans to visit, along with Loki, to finally settle the matter once and for all. Ironman would join, as well as The Falcon, to stop any uprisings that might occur.

"Darling, I would only be gone for a couple of days. A week at the most." He said, packing an extra shirt in his duffel bag. "I promised that I would take care of you and protect you. And these imbeciles are making me break that promise."

"But you have taken care of me. You always take care of me. It's time for you to take care of your people. Go, love, and be careful. I'll be here waiting for you." He bent down to kiss you as you sat on your shared bed. You kissed him once, twice, on the third time he deepened the kiss and trapped you in between his arms on the bed. You pulled his collar getting him to hover over you. You wanted to remember the way he tastes. The way he smells. The noises he makes when his lips are on yours.