Chapter 14- Sometimes we all need a break

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hello my lovelies,

I hope you had a great day today and if not, I promise you there will be better times.

Have fun reading and always remember that you are amazing and enough.

I am on a holiday at the moment so I am not sure how much I can update but I am trying.
Thank you so much for 100K reads.

I love you, bye.

I love you, bye

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Tick

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Tick. Tack.
Tick. Tack.

And this stupid little line on the blank document is practically laughing at me.
Or more screaming because it brings me to the few times back, where my depression has gotten so bad I couldn't even get dressed anymore.
The infuriating voice was my mother, yelling at me to get out of bed.

How can a tiny line have so much in common with a person who should show me the true meaning of unconditional love?
Observing me, acting like they only want the best for me but their harsh, brutal words put gasoline on my wounds until I am lying on the floor bleeding from my cuts.

When the blade is held by the supposed family you can't help but let the pain consume you because how could I be so disrespectful to act against them?

I would be a disgrace.

Often I wished in a rush of anger and sadness for her to go away but now, the problem is, she isn't here in this room.
My mother is so far away and I can't blame it on her anymore so I and I alone, am responsible for my failure.
And I am failing.
I haven't written, or I have... but not enough. I haven't done enough.

I want to write, I crave to bring down what I want to say. I always had the desire to make people understand me and through writing, I found a way. A way that makes me thankful for every author before, every little moment that led to me being here.
Acting and writing.

Crazy how I went from wanting to be a doctor or teacher to becoming an artist but now I am wondering how I could've ever survived without them.
I am so privileged to be able to go after my passion and now... I am failing.

I bet there is at least one person out there who is on their way to finish their novel, screaming in joy as their fingers fly over the alphabet.
Their wish of becoming a bestseller, turned into a world-famous movie is so close to being reached. Someone is achieving my dreams right now and I am not even able to bring down a sentence.

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