Bond Made in Hell || A TAEJIN STORY || Arranged Marriage

54

The next few chapters are going to be short. Like reallyyyy short. I need to sort of even the story out before we get to the ending, don't wanna rush things and squeeze everything into a single chapter. 

Jin

'Hey, Tae,' I set the bouquet of fresh roses down on the polished white sheets of the bedside table at his room in the hospital and take a seat by his side.

He's sleeping. And he looks so peaceful.

I watch him quietly for a while. A small, sad smile crosses my face. He's so beautiful. It's funny how I never realized just how beautiful he was, all the time we were married.

There's so much that we need to tell each other, Tae. So much.

'Did it hurt, Tae?' I whisper, taking his cold hand in mine. 'Did it hurt when he did that to you? When he broke your heart?'

A tiny tear escapes the corner of my eye, but I bite my lip and brush it away, then return to holding his hand.

'I understand you, Tae. I understand you so well.

I never really fell out of love for you.

I wanted love, I was desperate for it. I craved it, I needed it.

And I needed it from you.

But I was scared. I was so, so scared.

And so were you.

But you never told me.'

More tears escape my eyes, but I do not attempt to wipe them away, or take Tae's hand away from my own. Instead, I squeeze them tighter.

'All those days of dancing around the truth, playing mind games, being through ups and downs, crying on your shoulder, bickering, fighting, hiding, lying....all of it was to avoid our real feelings, wasn't it?

'We knew our own feelings for each other, but we were confused by them. We were confused, and we were scared. We both had a terrible history when it came to love, and neither wanted their heart broken again....'

I take a deep breath. My voice breaks as I say the next words.

'If only you'd told me, Tae-!'

Words fail me, and I break down weeping, crushing Tae's fingers tightly between my own as I grip onto him, as though I were to never let go, and cry my heart out.

'I miss you so much, Tae...' I sobbed like a baby. 'I miss you so fucking much. Come back to me Tae, fucking come back to me...!'

At length, I stop crying. It takes me a few minutes to regain my composure, but I do so, somehow. I gently remove Tae's hand from atop mine and restore it to his side. He lies there in the same position as before, eyes closed, breathing in and out, looking quiet and peaceful. Oblivious to everything around him.

I smile wanly down at him. 'Aren't you quite a sleeping beauty, huh?'

I take a small notepad out of my pocket, tear out a piece of paper and scribble something on it, then place it carefully next to the flowers. It's the same note I've been leaving day after day, week after week, on his bedside table, even if they all end up in the trash eventually.

 'Love you, Tae. Miss you. Miss you so much. Jin.'

I brush a few stray hairs off Tae's forehead, adjust the sheets so he at least seems comfortable, and finally, with a long, earnest, parting look, leave the room.

Once out, I suddenly stop by the door. Something tells me to go back inside. Look. But I don't.

My heart beats fast. I wonder if that was a hallucination? My mind has been playing tricks on me for the past few weeks. Messing with my head, distorting my vision. Showing me illusions of Tae, healthy and happy, by my side.

But was what I saw really a hallucination?

I swear I saw Tae's eyes flicker open as I walked out the door.

I apologize sincerely for the delay. This is the best I can do, honestly :( life sucks. I'm going to upload the next chapter by tomorrow, most probably :)