#TFW (That Feeling When) ⚊ Lee Heeseung [#2]

✗ fifty two ✗

⚊ chapter fifty two

I could hear the random laughs and talks from down the stairs as the cold night air filled my lungs, but I wanted to be alone.

I cut across the long hallway, racing towards my bedroom where I knew I could lock myself in. I stumbled against my sister as the shouting of my name got closer before I went to hide behind my sister.

The chill from the window permeated againt my dress but I didn't care as I lean my head on my sister's back and tried to breath.

"Heeseung, seriously!", Dahyun shouted from before me.

"Please", a soft voice begged. My heart skipped a beat as I recognized how it was so sad, "I need to talk to her. I need to explain"

"You had your chance and you fucked it up", Dahyun spat, keeping me behind her.

"I'm so sorry", Heeseung's voice was quiet and defeated now. It barely reached me even if he was only a few steps away.

You are so weak, I chastised myself as I softened at his tone. He sounded so broken. My natural instinct is to reach out for him but that just made me disappointed to myself.

"Sunny", Dahyun hold to my arm and turned my body for her bedroom, "Please don't listen to him, I'll make him go"

"Sunshine, look - if you don't want to see me, I get it. I'll leave here so you can enjoy your birthday. But please, I really just want to explain myself. I feel like shit and I want to make this better. I don't know how but...", the tremble in Heeseung's voice shook me to the core as he coughed and continued, "I'm so sorry for hurting you"

The cool winter air was thick with silence as we all stopped and waited. The low thuds of music from the backyard vibrated over to us as the suspense of what would happened next to us grew.

Finally, Heeseung let out a soft sigh before a slow footseps alerted me that he was walking away.

My pulse raised as I panicked. I was terrified to face Heeseung but every step that he took away from me burned my throat. I was so hurt by what he did, and yet all I wanted was for him for go back to me and make it better.

To kiss me and hold me in his arms.

So weak.

"Wait!", I called as I squeezed my eyes shut, hoping I would not regret this.

I step out from behind my sister and took a moment to wipe that single tear from my cheek as I collected myself. When I looked up, Dahyun and Heeseung were both staring at me unsurely. The loud happy music was making it more surreal in an otherwise empty hallway.

"Five minutes", Heeseung said as he stepped towards me, "That's all I need"

I nodded to Dahyun, letting her know I'll be okay then walked over to my bedroom and sat down at the mini couch facing the window, to see the celebration in the backyard.

I purposely sat in the middle so Heeseung won't be able to seat next to me. I couldn't handle being close to him yet.

"Alright", my sister said from the doorway, "I'll go try to find the rest of my family, so we could do something to him later"

I kept my head turned down, knowing I was alone now with Heeseung. His footsteps approached me slowly then stopped in front of the couch.

"I don't even know where to start", he started lowly. All of that and he doesn't even know what to say?, "Well, for starters, yes, I did become a coward and I did the same to Yumi. I thought love wouldn't bring me to the happiness I was finding but only from my -"