Beyond This Fucked Up World [choi yeonjun]

Chapter Fourteen - A Job Is Needed

[25. August 2022]

The trees between the streetlights rustled in the light wind and let their green and pink leaves slowly fall onto the path. The sun was just about to rise and shone directly into my eyes. I tried to make out the path in front of me and held my hand in front of my face to shield myself from the sun.

My gaze remained glued to the paved path most of the time and every time I dared to look up I was blinded by the sun's intrusive rays. Cars passed me on the right, making the air roar.

Luckily for me, I had decided to wear a cardigan today, so the wind didn't bother me much. I held my phone in my left hand so that I wouldn't have to feel that discomfort I always have when I can't do anything with my hands. Another reason was Yeonjun, who still hadn't replied to my message. 

My thoughts drifted from the piercing sun to Tuesday night. He was quite annoyed when he looked at the pictures and even though I didn't ask him about it, he volunteered to talk about Sunoo and was even more upset afterwards and just left without saying goodbye.

I kept asking myself what I could have done wrong and even though I know I'm not the most innocent person, I knew it clearly wasn't up to me. Or was it? The last few weeks had been very confusing and I didn't know what to do next. I had got my answers, but I could not yet easily tear myself away from the interviewees.

I knew there were no more reasons for me to keep seeing them but it was not easy to turn away from them. There was something that made me feel good when I was with them and I didn't want to let go of that feeling so quickly. That's probably what Sunoo thought when he unwillingly made the boys not go away, but by doing so he only contributed to not seeing them at all.

My opinions were divided on the question of whether I could understand him anyway. On the one hand, I would give anything to stay with them longer, but that could mean losing them even more. On the other hand, his methods were rather ill-conceived and I don't think I would act so irrationally.

I quickly glanced at the display of my phone. No new message. That was to be expected but in case he does write back out of the blue, I want to know quickly to be aware of the situation. If he accepts my apology it means Yeonjun isn't mad at me and I don't have to worry. If he doesn't accept it then I know what that means.

My legs were walking a little faster along the path now to drown out the negative thoughts, but it wasn't really working. The sun seemed to be getting brighter and brighter and the streets were getting more and more filled with cars.

The rustling of the trees became louder and louder and the falling leaves covered more and more of the path. I didn't dare look up any more, because the sunlight would blind me the next time I looked up, so I just stared intently at the ground.

And if the day didn't already show me far too extreme impressions of everyday life, I then also felt a throbbing pain in my head.

I held my head in pain and looked up. The sun was blocked out by a tall boy with blond hair and on closer inspection I noticed that it was Kai.

"Hello to you too, I'd say."

"Sorry, I didn't see you."

"That's okay, I get overlooked a lot with my height." He reasoned wryly. I had to laugh in response, still rubbing my head.

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." Kai turned amusedly back in the direction he had been looking before.

"Why are you standing here?"

"I want to cross the road." He said and I looked in the same direction as him. We were at a red light and cars were flooding the streets that were uncrossable.