Beyond This Fucked Up World [choi yeonjun]

Chapter Thirty Two - You And Me

My hands felt the gravel on the ground beside me. I toyed with the small stones in my hands, letting them fall on the ground before I picked them up again to move them around between my fingers.

My back was leaning against the door of Yeonjun's car, both of us sitting next to it on the ground with full sight of the abandoned building across the place. I had my legs pulled to my chest to reduce the tension in my body as I was still thinking about Soobin.

I looked over to Yeonjun to further reduce that uncomfortable feeling, seeing that he also had one leg pulled to his chest and the other stretched out beside me. His gaze was directed forward, a calm expression lying on him. I asked myself if he also wondered where Soobin was.

"Yeonjun?" I quietly called out his name.

"Hm?"

"That night where we ran away from your parents... Were they heavily mad at you?"

Yeonjun hesitated with his answer. I watched him as he still looked forward, squinting his eyes shut a little as he thought about how to answer the question at best.

"Just the normal reaction." He then answered calmly and exhaled audibly. He readjusted his sitting position.

"And what is the normal reaction? Because I think that it is highly not normal for everyone."

"But it is normal for me." I kept quiet.

"My mom isn't that bad. She just isn't really assertive when it comes to my dad making a fuss about every little thing."

I furrowed my brows in apology, but said nothing to it. I wasn't good with comforting people.

"I mean I know what I'm getting myself into when doing things. It doesn't bother me that much anymore."

"And still you want to get away from him."

Yeonjun then finally looked at me, now having an apologetic smile on his face and I asked myself why he was looking at me like that. I should feel apologetic, not him.

"Do you want me to come to yours again?" I asked hesitantly, fiddling with my fingertips.

"Why not?" He put his hand on top of mine.

"It's not like my dad is going to get angry at you." He chuckled, making this topic more uncomfortable than it already was. I hated how he had to laugh about this, even though it was only a coping mechanism.

"Yeah, but he is going to get angry at you. I don't want that." I whispered the last sentence, but Yeonjun still heard it. I got confirmation when he smiled at me softly and squeezed my hand lightly.

"Don't worry. It's not like I'm going to die from it."

He ended the conversation on this topic by fixing his eyes at the swimming pool again. I didn't mind because I didn't want to continue talking about it anyway. It wasn't exactly a topic I felt comfortable with, but I still wanted to know as I was curious.

The touch of Yeonjun's hand on mine filled my entire mind. I couldn't stop thinking about the warmth that erupted from his hand and soothed me up.

I still didn't know whether to ask him about Soobin and where he might have been. I was afraid that I would have to tell him what had happened in the hallway last Saturday. There was still the question if that was the reason why Soobin wasn't here right now.

Otherwise, I wasn't so sure if it was because of the incident with Sunoo. Soobin always had the impression of accepting the past and it would be contradicting for him to surprisingly react the opposite now. On the other hand, who am I to know that? I was oblivious enough to not know about his feelings towards me. And my feelings towards him.