Beyond This Fucked Up World [choi yeonjun]

Chapter Twenty Five - Excited To Be Invited

[3. September 2022]

The wall moved as if it were about to flow onto the floor and flood everything. If you stared at it longer, the wall even changed color from a light white to a light gray.

I waited for it to be time to go.

My eyes wandered to the clock hanging just above the door to the living room and deciphered the time. If I left now, I would arrive earlier than planned. I wanted to ride my bike, which had been rotting in the basement for several months, to Beomgyu's house, which was far enough away that I wouldn't think of walking there.

I usually took the bus, but I had already missed it, so my bike was the last resort to get there on time, but since it would definitely take me less than an hour to get from my place to Beomgyu's, I decided to sit on my bed for a few minutes and do nothing.

I was already so engrossed in waiting for it to be time to get my bike out of the basement, that I couldn't bring myself to turn on the TV or do anything else. My eyes glanced at the clock again and maybe it was time to put on my shoes now.

My body picked itself up from the bed and waddled over to the shoe cupboard, which was placed next to the front door.

While I was putting on my shoes, I thought about what was going to happen today. The last time I had met up with the rest of the group was last Thursday at the skatepark, where I had been slightly overwhelmed by the message Yeonjun hadn't written to me.

However, now that those miserable trains of thought from last week were settled, there shouldn't really be anything left for me to worry about. But then why did I feel like I was about to jump out of the window?

Was I excited to see Yeonjun? Was I confusing euphoria with fear again? Or were it other thoughts that had crept secretly into my head and would only emerge when it was already too late?

No matter how this feeling could be explained, what I knew was that it prevented me from lacing up my shoes properly. After concentrating more on my shoes and managing that too, I came up from my bent position and groaned slightly. I looked over at the clock again and realized that I had taken far too much time to lace up my shoes and was now minimally in a hurry.

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The rusty cellar door opened with two simple turns of the cellar key. In front of me came my metallic blue bicycle, which had been there ever since I moved into this flat and was already making friends with the spiders. I freed it from the spider webs and pushed the bike backwards through the door, which I then closed again.

It felt unusual to hold a bike in my grip. Maybe it turned out that in the time I hadn't ridden it, I had forgotten how to ride a bike and now I'm totally lost like that time I forgot how to tie my shoes.

If that was the case, I would have to call Yeonjun and ask him to pick me up and I didn't know how to think about that.

The last thing I had said to him before closing the car door between us was "You don't have to pick me up, but thanks." so I'd definitely put myself in an awkward position with that and have to listen to a "I told you so.".

I'd rather learn how to ride a bike as soon as possible.

Once on top of my bike, I inspected the empty neighborhood where I lived and went over in my mind whether I had forgotten anything. When I couldn't think of anything, I got on my bike more properly and was about to ride off, when an icy cold air hit me.

I should have taken a jacket with me, why didn't I think of that? I spent the last few hours thinking about whether I should take anything else with me and went through the things I had packed several times to make sure I had everything important and then I forget something as stupid as a jacket.

My hand quickly reached for my phone, which was tucked away in one of my many trouser pockets, and opened the lock screen to look at the time. Actually, being late wouldn't be a bad thing but I've been so over-prepared to leave on time that I can't afford to put it off any longer now. If I just ignore the cold, it might not be so bad.

I decided not to make another quick sprint upstairs to get a jacket but just set off, hoping not to be swallowed up by the cold.

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After riding my bike through the city for a few minutes, I realized that it would have been better to take a jacket with me. I could have just grabbed a jacket quickly and then just pedaled harder but I guess I found the icy cold more comfortable than the pain in my calves and to be honest the pain would have given me more warmth than the jacket.

So in summary, I was too careless with my decision and I regret that now in whole chunks.

My whole body froze like a block of ice and I clung to the handlebars of the bike like it was a hand warmer. My arms and shoulders shook tactlessly along with the goosebumps that were forming on my skin. I thought of something warm to distract me from the stinging cold and thought of fire, my bed, coffee, Yeonjun's embrace, Yeonjun's lips on mine.

Feeling the shivering cold and the piercing excitement at the same time was like a rush after an energy drink, not very great but if you indulge in it's quite enjoyable.

These thoughts really helped me to get a grip on the cold. Although it still stung to ride through the icy air, it was bearable. After a while, the cold hardly bothered me as I got closer and closer to what I hoped was Beomgyu's warm house.

I had long since passed the place where I had first met him, when he fell off his bike and laughed about it. It felt like ages ago when that happened but it was really only a week ago.

It's hard to think that just a few weeks ago I was trying to get Taehyun to talk and had to stop Yeonjun from driving off in the car and leaving me standing there. Now everything was so different. Yeonjun was so different, different than he seemed at first. Not as cold and skeptical, still inscrutable and a bit irritable at times, but less like an asshole like I thought before.

Excluding the first encounter, he was actually more soulful and gentle and intoxicating, somehow. My cheeks ached. If Beomgyu's house isn't in plain sight I'm going to drive into a tree, because these thoughts were making me frantic.

My eyes caught sight of the well-kept family home, my body couldn't wait to finally be enveloped in warmth and the excited feeling in my chest welled up roaring out of me. I casually got off my bike and parked it right next to Beomgyu's, which had been roughly pushed against the wall like last time and was now leaning sloppily against the wall.

With quick steps I wandered to the steps in front of the house and hurried up until I stopped before the entrance door and took a deep breath.

I'm here, I've arrived, everything that comes now will be subliminally represented with a permanent, oppressive excitement and I think I'm about to cry at the thought of Yeonjun being behind that door. Apparently I had missed him very much.

Despite the fact that I didn't mind the cold any more, as I had built up enough body heat from cycling, I was still shivering badly. But not because I was cold, but because I was too excited.

No one would notice though, as everyone would think I was shivering so much because of the cold. Hesitating slightly in my action, I pressed the bell and a shrill sound rang out, muffled from the other side of the door.

Nothing happened for a while and it was quiet. The area was silent and my head was still. I was afraid of having a heart attack when the door opened and I prepared myself not to get too scared. Without further ado, the door was hastily opened by Beomgyu, who greeted me with a delighted face.