Beyond This Fucked Up World [choi yeonjun]

Chapter Thirty Three - Unendurable Burden

I leapt onto the window frame with one leg, supported myself with my hands and pulled my other leg through the broken window as well. With the help of my hands, I straightened up and wiped the dirt from my hands off on my pants.

My eyes already caught sight of three boys playing around in the smaller pool, screaming and yelling at each other as if it was a matter of life or death. I noticed Taehyun's right arm being completely freed from his cast that he wore for almost four weeks.

Without waiting for Yeonjun, who was just about to come up from the ground, I made my way towards the ladder that led into the big, empty swimming pool next to me. I used the ladder to climb down and along the way I saw Yeonjun just jumping from the edge into the pool without giving it much thought.

"You are such a wimp." Yeonjun jokingly called me with a big grin on his face, while I stepped foot onto the ground of the swimming pool.

"Shut up." I responded and didn't give him much more eye contact than necessary.

I watched as Yeonjun jogged over to the three boys in the pool, while I was in no hurry like him and just walked nonchalantly in their direction. Yeonjun leaned himself against the rim of the pool and immediately got greeted by a splash of water that he fend off with his right arm.

When I arrived next to Yeonjun, I hesitated to take a step further, fearing I would receive the same greeting as Yeonjun. I already saw the look on Beomgyu's face and automatically made a step backwards, only getting an amused laugh from him as a response to that.

"Yeonjun, come in. We have a fight to catch up." Kai spoke with a grin.

"Why? I can't remember having to catch up on anything."

"You have to make up for all the times I had to listen to your incredibly corny flirting." he joked and flicked a little water at Yeonjun that didn't quite reach his body. Yeonjun chuckled at that, but didn't make any move to back away or get into the pool.

"No, thanks. That's clearly not my problem."

"Then Eve can join us." Taehyun interrupted their nagging and looked over to me. I quickly held my hands up in defense, shaking my head in clear negation.

"No way am I gonna do that."

"Wait a minute, weren't you complaining about wanting to go into the pool too just then?" Yeonjun's head was turned to me and his brows raised in confusion. I looked over to him.

"Yes, but that was before I heard that riotous scream from Beomgyu."

At this, Beomgyu quickly raised his arm out of the water and pointed directly at the culprit, making him scream for his life.

"It was Kai's fault! He wanted to kill me!"

"I wished I had succeeded at it." Was Kai's only response to this at which Beomgyu's mouth fell wide open in shock.

Yeonjun grinned at them with a short chuckle leaving his mouth. Taehyun and I only smiled at them, though my smile looked a bit awkward.

The topic got dismissed and I focused my mind on the fact that this was the first time that I saw all of them in their special, secret hideout. Before, I only heard of them coming to this place when they liked to, but never caught sight of it myself. It was fun to experience how they are using this place when they are all together, though it was obvious as there was a swimming pool full of water right in the middle of this big hall.

But I felt the incompletion because Soobin wasn't here with us. I missed him, even though I felt miserable thinking that. It felt wrong to miss him. I declined his offer to kiss me and indirectly confessed that I liked him the same way he liked me and now I wished that he was here with us. It all sounded so unfair to Yeonjun, though I don't mean it that way. I still wanted to be friends with Soobin. And friends can miss each other.

Did Soobin miss me too?

"Where is Soobin anyways?" Kai asked the group and everyone had the same question mark over their heads.

They thought for a moment and according to Beomgyu and Taehyun's look on their faces, they already had an idea that they weren't eager to share with the group. I could already think about what they had in mind.

"Maybe it's about Saturday?" Kai quietly asked in Yeonjun's direction, who only shrugged with his shoulders.

It probably was because of what happened on Saturday, but not really what they thought was the reason. Maybe I should tell them the possible cause of his absence. Otherwise, my heart was about to burst from too much pressure and unease.

"I couldn't imagine it being because of Sunoo."

"But what if it is because of that?" Taehyun spoke with a worried look on his face.

"Did no one check on him?"

"I did." Yeonjun answered Kai's question.

"But he only said that he was busy with college stuff."

"Still, he seemed really off that night. When I asked him if he was alright that day, his reply was not really convincing." Kai told them and concern was shown on his gaze.

The boys started to think about it again, all trying to solve the mystery of Soobin's weird behavior and sudden absence that day. Was it that unusual for him to not be here today?

"He seemed distant long before we talked about Sunoo." Beomgyu then said, now participating in the conversation as well. At first he distanced himself from the discourse, practically shutting down his mind so as not to have to deal with this, but now he also was distressed about Soobin's well being.

Their confused gazes turned more puzzled and the worry in their eyes really showed how concerned they now were. It wasn't just a by-the-way question anymore.

"But what should have happened before, that he was acting that strangely that day and even up until now? It must really bother him."

"Maybe it really hit him how much he still misses Sunoo?" Taehyun thought out loud with big eyes making his empathy apparent.

"Uhm-" I blurted out and everyone turned their heads towards me.

"I...have to go home now."

"What, already?" Yeonjun asked with sparkling eyes, making him look like a puppy.

"Yeah, I- I remembered that I- uh..." My feet took me backwards to the direction of the ladder. My voice was on the verge of breaking and my hands began to sweat. All of their gazes laying on me showed confusion and it made me sick.

"The laundry. The neighbors tend to occupy the community dryer at this time of the week..." I slowly got closer to the wall of the swimming pool, where the ladder was waiting for me to be used. I stumbled backwards while still facing the boys standing in the smaller pool and Yeonjun, who was still leaning against the rim of it, confused.

"And I don't have fresh clothes." I chuckled nervously.

My fingers touched the metallic rim, telling me to turn around and climb up the ladder in a hurry. I put one foot on the first step of the ladder and missed it by an inch, making me look more stupid than I wanted.

"Wait, let me drive you home." Yeonjun yelled to the other side to where I was already heading towards the broken window.

"Oh, no. No, it's okay. I have my bike with me and I know the way home so..." I got to the broken window on the left side of the building and kneeled down before it, ready to climb down and run as fast as I could.

"You don't have to spend fuel on me, don't worry. Bye!" I jumped down the window and landed easily on the ground with my feet.

On the way to my bike that was laying carelessly on the ground, I heard Yeonjun's voice yelling to me "As if I ever cared about that!".

I quickly took the handlebars of my bicycle and pulled it up to its wheels again. With my bike in my hands, I turned around to the direction where I came from with Kai earlier that day. I hopped onto my bike and put the pedal to the metal.