For You, I Live

Ch.5 There's No Hope

Previously...

  "Now that we have all settled down, let the 764th meeting of the Star Council commence!

                                                                          *Bang!* *Bang!*

                                                            __________________

  The whole room was immediately silent. Everyone's attention at the head of the table where Core, Blue, and I sat. I was starting to get anxious again, but I caught myself in time and started counting. For what felt like the millionth time in the last couple of months, I thought it was going to be a long day. I hoped things would go well. But, I really just wanted to lay down in bed curled up in a blanket and stay there forever. Like Fate or "fate" is ever going to let that happen.

   "Alright, now that we're getting started, I want to introduce to you all a very important refugee. I know their young, but they will be very important for the content of our meeting. They're shy and have been through a lot, so try to go easy on them. May I introduce Dream, the Guardian of Positivity."

  Once more the room burst into another uproar. Accusation on where I came from and who I was were thrown around. Questions of if I was related to Nightmare, the self-proclaimed King of Negativity, could be heard. It only seemed to get louder and louder. Just as it looked like things were going to get violent, effectively silenced them.

*BANG!* *BANG!*

"SILENCE! I didn't call this meeting so you can all start yelling at her! I called this meeting so we can figure out a way to fix the balance between positivity and negativity! My own balance of order and chaos is a mess! And, it's not even Fresh's fault! The multiverse is in pure chaos after Bill started his weirdmageddon, effectively destroying the barrier between universes. Suicide and monsters falling down are at an all-time high. Genocide runs are a constant. Nightmare has control of over 73% of Aus. All of which are constantly feeding him negativity. Even the ones not under his control are affected. Most of us have some level of depression, even the most positive of us. Ink has been trying to create more positive Aus, with little success. And, just a couple days ago, Outer watched the destroyer commit suicide by jumping into the VOID!  And, if we don't come up with a solution soon, Error won't be the only one." Core ranted. They were especially sad at the mention of Error death. Though not nearly as much as Blue, his face didn't show it though. They must have secretly been friends.

  I, on the other hand, started to cry. These people wanted me to help them fix the multiverse. How was I supposed to do that? Did they really understand the situation that they were in. I couldn't help but feel a bit angry at them too. I could feel their happiness at Core's mention of the suicide of the destroyer. Who cared about the balance of emotions at that point. The multiverse was effectively screwed without Error. Especially if Ink kept on creating. Core's explanation confirmed a God of Creation Ink. Plus, a suicidal Error and sad Blue, most likely means he was a Forced God of Destruction. The fact that he chose to jump into the VOID specifically to end his life practically confirmed it. Hopefully Destiny found him and he was in a better place now.

  Core saw that I was upset and immediately tries to console me. They carefully rubbed circle on my back as I cried into their chest. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell it all out at once. I was planning on carefully explaining everything to you, but I couldn't stand them yelling at you. I know it's a lot to hear, but I really do think that you can help us. I don't expect you to fix everything overnight," Core explained trying to console me, but for the wrong reason.

  "You d-don't *hick* und-understand. I ca-can't *sniffle* help y-you." I said as I try to calm down.

"Why not!" "Ya, why?" "Why" I hear an angry chorus of questions. I ignored them.

  "Of course you can. I'm not expecting you to do everything right now or by yourself, but I know we can fix things if we work together." Core said.

  I wipe my face, gather my resolve. I really didn't like being the one to have to explain it to them, but they don't seem to know. "Core, the moment the God of Destruction jumped into the VOID it was to late."

  The emotions in the room were a combination of shock, confusion, and more anger. Core was looking at me at me, deep in thought. Then it clicked.  They had come to a realization on what I was saying. They felt such deep despair and hopelessness. I had been progressively feeling sicker and sicker as the meeting went on. After all the negativity I've had to endure, it was too much for me. I quickly looked around and got out of my chair running to a trash can, where I threw up black and sludgy negativity, sprinkled with flakes of gold positivity. It looked like I was puking a night sky. If I wasn't the one throwing it up I would have even said looked pretty. But to be perfectly honest it was so cold it burned and tasted terrible. If someone used rancid apples, dry ice, food coloring to color it black, and added yellow glitter; that was effectively what I was puking up. Not a pleasant experience let me tell you.

  Just then, I could feel worry coming towards me. I think it was Blue. I give another heave. "Sto-stop! St-stay b-back! Yo-your go-going t-to m-make *heave* ma-make it wor-worse." I tried to say as I attempt to block out the negative emotions in the room. He backed up. I soon realized it wasn't working. There were too many negative emotions and I was too tired. I could still hear the yelling and arguing in the background. So I did the only thing that I could think would help. I released my positivity into the room.

  The change was instant. What was once a cocktail of negativity, was replaced with blissful contentment. Even the most volatile of Fells were under its effect. I slowly start to feel better. After one last heave of the sludge, I wipe my face on a purple handkerchief with crescent moons I had found back while traveling. It made me think of my brother. I'll have to have it washed later, having it covered in black made me think of Nightmare eating the apples. I shake my head those thoughts from my mind, and quickly put it in my pocket.

  I get up and look around. About half the room was effectively on high off of positive feelings.  The other half was out cold. I look to Blue and Core. Blue, while definitely, effected seemed to be the most coherent. While he had a large smile on his face, he was looking around at everyone. He was standing the closest to me, so I was surprised he had been copeing so well. Core, surprisingly, seemed to have been one of the most effected. They had such a relaxed look on there face, like the entire multiverse had been lifted off of their shoulders and had collectively decided to be at peace. I actually felt bad about it only being temporary. I walked over to Blue.

  "Sorry for flooding the room in positivity. All the excessive negativity was making me sick and I'm too tired to block it out properly," I explained.

  "OH! IS THAT WHAT'S GOING ON? I WAS REALLY CONFUSED ABOUT WHY WE FEEL SO HAPPY AND THEN HALF THE ROOM FELL ASLEEP! THAT'S SO COOL! ITS LIKE WHAT NIGHTMARE DOES BUT HE USES NEGATIVITY AND THEN ATTACKS YOU WHILE YOUR DISTRACTED. WHICH ISN'T NEARLY AS NICE AS THIS. WHAT ELSE CAN YOU DO? ARE YOU BLUSHING? THAT'S SO CUTE! SOMEONE LIKE YOU SHOULD BE PROTECTED. YOUR JUST SO CUTE, SWEET, AND TINY! ALL ROLLED UP INTO ONE INNOCENT PACKAGE! *GASP* LIKE A CINNAMON ROLL! I MUST PROTECT THE INNOCENT CINNAMON ROLL!" Blue cried out, as he picked me up into his arms against his chest. I tense.

  I was a blushing mess. I wasn't use to the praise. It felt really nice. My subconscious seems to have dubbed Blue safe, so I was only somewhat uncomfortable with being in his arms. It still felt nice to be held by someone who seemed to have cared about me. I have a feeling I may be touch-starved after my imprisonment. Which is frustrating, because I developed haphephobia after all the beatings the villagers gave me. The only person I received any positive physical contact from was Nightmare when we would cuddle. I refused to be afraid of cuddling with my brother. Now that I think about it, I was ok with having the dog monster Shelby touch me too. Maybe it would be something I could work on. I decided I would enjoy Blue holding me while we wait for the others to come back to their senses. As I relax in his hold he carries me over to his seat and sits down. He begins petting my skull. I practically melt at that. I try to resist, but I feel myself being pull to the land of sleep. I close my eyelights and know no more.