Inevitable

19. Lorenzo And Pansy 👩‍❤️‍👨💔

(Pansy's Pov)
I really do love Blaise but Lorenzo was my first love. He was my first time, first crush, first kiss. He was there the first time I got drunk, the first time I did drugs. Lorenzo was always there during every monumental moment.

He was always there to take care of me and make sure I didn't do anything dumb.

We met when he found me crying in year 1.
I had just failed making a potion while the rest of the class succeeded.

I sat in the corner away from everyone else till I felt a hand on my arm.

"It's ok you can take credit for my potion and I'll take yours." He said.

Even as a child he was caring. From there I met the rest of the crew.

Even after all these years I can still hear his high pitched voice excitedly introduce me to his friends.

"These are my friends. This one is Draco, this is Theodore but he likes being called Theo, this is Mattheo, and this one is Blaise."

I smile to myself thinking about it.

Out of the entire friend group I was always closest with Lorenzo. There were 5 guys and 1 girl, but I never felt like the odd one out thanks to Enzo.

He loved when I called him that, he loved when I touched him, he loved when I kissed him. And I loved when he loved me.

Not that he doesn't love me anymore but it's not the same as it was.

After he turned me down he started distancing himself. He hated when people called him Enzo after that. I miss the relationship we used to have.

Blaise is only helping the spot Lorenzo ripped out of my heart. And I seriously do love Blaise.

But I'll always love Lorenzo more. Dating Blaise is great though. He always takes care of me and we have so much fun together.

But I would take Lorenzo back in a heartbeat. Lorenzo would sacrifice his life to make sure I was okay. Blaise wouldn't even sacrifice a finger for me.

That's the difference. And I need a ride or die not a ride and try.

Does this mean I'm gonna break up with Blaise.
No.
But I don't see a future with him. I just need someone I can call mine.

Someone I know I can rely on. I know it's almost like I'm using him, and maybe I am in a way, but like I said.
I really do love him.

Just not the same way I love Lorenzo.

I constantly feel guilty. Thinking of Lorenzo during sex. Sex is good with Blaise. The pleasure is there but the passion isn't, and passion is half of the experience.

Blaise is very vanilla. One position, one speed, one goal. His goal was to finish. That was it. Didn't matter if I was pleased as long as he was. And don't get me wrong I usually did finish but it wasn't the same as the way Lorenzo did it.

Nothings the same as the way Lorenzo does it. God I miss Lorenzo.

(Lorenzo's Pov)
I hate seeing her around Blaise. That could have been me. That should have been me. But it's too late now. Fifth year me didn't have his shit together.
I let her down,
I let myself down.
My biggest regret is letting her go. I don't deserve to be angry. I don't deserve her. It hurts because I love Blaise, he's one of my best mates. But I also love Pansy and not in a friendly way.

Hanging around her gives me a sort of nostalgia from back then. Back when things were simple.

It's like the second I lost her things went to shit.  My mom came back. Pansy doesn't know that. There's a lot of things she doesn't know.

Over summer me and the rest of the guys were constantly at the Malfoy Manor. It's almost a guarantee we'll get the dark mark.

We decided to keep it a secret from Pansy.
The less she knows the better.
She's bound to find out though, our secret little meetings aren't so secret anymore.

Now that Sierra joined our group she's also in danger. Everyone we're associated with is in danger.

If the other death eaters see them as a distraction they'll obliviate us from them, or worse. They'll kill them.