Stay Alive || kσσkv

.35

Since agreeing to lock Jungkook up if he got out of hand, Yoongi kept a close eye on Jungkook who was luckily okay. Jungkook hadn't experienced anything out of the blue and honestly? He felt better than ever after having a few days of rest. Taehyung was also taking care of Jungkook a lot and Jungkook means a lot. Like... Taehyung would bring him meals, and water and just check up on Jungkook throughout the day which Jungkook was thankful for really. The group was doing a lot to get ready for the winter to set in and they still had a lot to do. One group was sent out to find winter gear or just anything that would help them throughout the winter.

Another group was sent out to find food. They had more than enough but to play it safe they decided to see if they could find any food around the surrounding area. They planned to stay in the bunker for most of the cold winter days. It would be cramped as fucking shit but it was better than making a fire and having someone find them. "How the hell does the bunker have heat?" Hoseok looked at the place that had heat coming out. "Electrical?" Seokjin suggested but quickly gave up the idea by shrugging and walking off. They had heat and Seokjin wasn't going to question it. As long as they didn't freeze to death then he was okay with whatever.

"Alright, we have twenty-seven people altogether. Ten women, four children, and thirteen men." Taehyung said to Jimin who was looking through the list. "The mother with two kids should get the room in the back. And if she doesn't mind maybe she could fit in the other two kids. It'll feel safer for them." Jimin suggested while dividing the food with Jun who held his boy close. "What do you think Jun?" Taehyung looked up from the paper to look at Jun who was watching them both. "...Yeah... I agree." Jun said quietly. Sounded like the boy wasn't used to voicing his opinions. Nodding, Taehyung smiled at Jun who smiled back but left quickly for his son.

"This group is so... timid." Jimin looked at Taehyung who looked away from the spot Jun was in and looked at Jimin. "They had leaders who killed them if they disagreed. I'm not surprised." The boy huffed out before bending down to grab at one of the plates but was quick to stop and stand up once he felt a familiar pain in his stomach. "You okay?" Jimin questioned while looking up at Taehyung who had a displeased face. "Just cramps." Taehyung sucked in a breath before sitting on the bed carefully. "I thought... it passed." Jimin wasn't sure how to bring up the baby so he tried to avoid it. "Seokjin said I'd still have occasional cramps." Taehyung sighed once more.

After watching Taehyung for some while, Jimin finally got up and went seat himself next to Taehyung who had his hand on his stomach. "So... how do you feel about it?" Jimin asked Taehyung. Not knowing how to answer that question since Taehyung had been avoiding his feelings. Though Jimin was willing to listen and so Taehyung decided to open up about it. "I don't know. I mourned over losing..." Taehyung shrugged. "Before I could even be excited about it and... would I even be excited? Being pregnant in a zombie apocalypse?" Taehyung questioned. Nodding, Jimin understood that since it was a big situation.

"So part of me is glad that you know, I'm not pregnant anymore." Taehyung nodded with his words. "But?" Jimin added on which made Taehyung give an airy chuckle. Clicking his tongue, Taehyung shrugged. "But nothing... I... I think about it a lot. If I didn't have a miscarriage... then what?" Taehyung looked at the floor, kind of dazed out as he ran over every thought in his head. "... Then what?" Taehyung said quietly this time as Jimin leaned on Taehyung's shoulder and bit his lip. Sharing silence as Taehyung thought about all the what-ifs and fuck did he hate that. Thinking of something that didn't even exist. "Did you talk to Jungkook about this yet?"

"I mean... I know you two must have talked but to a deep level, have you?" Jimin asked curiously which made Taehyung shake his head. They did talk... about so many things but Taehyung's miscarriage wasn't one of those things. It was kind of like a dream inside of a nightmare at the same time and it didn't feel real. Talking about it made it feel real so Taehyung just... never gave it a thought or even talked about it. Feeling another cramp come, Taehyung closed his eyes and when he did that- it took him back to the day he lost the baby. How much pain he was in, how much blood there was.... how Seokjin told him he was miscarrying.

"It's snowing!" Taehyung heard one of the kids yell at their mother. "Mommy it's snowing!" The child yelled once more but it sounded further like the child was running out. "Already?" Jimin scoffed as he got up and started to hurry out of the bunker with Taehyung who followed. Once they reached outside, they saw that it was indeed snowing. The little kids were excited about the snow as Taehyung watched with a smile. Although to the kids this was the best thing ever, they didn't know how much they would be struggling through the winter. Then again... those kids being so excited over snow? It brought a smile to Taehyung's lips.

"What's making you smile hm?" Jungkook came walking toward Taehyung who broke his glance towards the kids and focused on Jungkook who had snowflakes on his hair. Wrapping his arms around Taehyung's waist, Jungkook smiled gently at Taehyung. "Those kids." Taehyung looked back towards the kids running around, trying to catch snowflakes on their tongues. That made Jungkook smile too as he looked back at Taehyung who kept his gaze on the kids. Noticing tears starting to swell up, Taehyung looked away and shook his head before he started to slightly laugh from his reaction. Not even sure why he suddenly started to cry.

"Tae... baby, my love, what's wrong?" Jungkook cupped Taehyung's face and looked at the boy who looked distraught. "I..." Taehyung opened his mouth but closed it since he knew the moment he said the words he was thinking, he would break. Though Jungkook didn't rush Taehyung. Instead, Jungkook brought Taehyung in for a comforting hug. "... I know... I keep saying that I'm glad that... that I'm n-not pregnant b-but..." Taehyung's voice broke as he thought it over once more, feeling his heart break all over again. Pulling away from the hug, Jungkook looked into Taehyung's eyes. The boy looked so hurt... so lost.

"But... what if I didn't have a miscarriage? What if... we had our ba-baby." Taehyung said in a broken voice. "We could have been a fa-family. A real... family. A little baby, our lit-little baby." Taehyung hiccuped, trying to look away from Jungkook who didn't let Taehyung look elsewhere. Wanting Taehyung's eyes on him as Jungkook held back his tears and comfortingly stroked Taehyung's cheek with his thumb. Our little baby... god fucking hell did that hurt. "Taehyung..." Jungkook started off but had to stop since his voice broke. Breathing in with a broken smile, Jungkook pressed his forehead against Taehyung's.

"You're my family Taehyung. My real family, since the day I found you." Jungkook said to Taehyung who hiccuped once more, gripping Jungkook's shirt. "It's okay to be sad over this because... that was our baby." Jungkook bit his trembling lip but he still kept his emotions in tack. "And no matter what, they're always going to be our baby. Just like how you're always going to be my baby. You're both my babies okay? No matter what anyone says." Jungkook said quietly to Taehyung before pressing a reassuring kiss against Taehyung's forehead. Letting a tear slip as Jungkook squeezed his eyes shut, trying not to feel what he was feeling.

Finally letting himself let go of those emotions, Taehyung cried. The world was so fucked up, everything was so fucked up. Taehyung just... felt so tired. Mentally Taehyung was drained and all he wanted to do was curl up in bed and stay there for days on days. Wasting away with his thoughts but in this world? He couldn't do that. Instead, Taehyung had to fight to live. Every single fucking day and it got so tiring... but who always pulled him right out of that mindset?... Jungkook did. Somehow, someway Jungkook just always knew how to make it right.

God Taehyung hated Jungkook at the beginning but now? It was like Taehyung depended on Jungkook and it wasn't bad at first but now Taehyung felt like if he ever lost Jungkook then he'd lose himself. Lose every purpose in wanting to live and that scared him because Taehyung already lost so much in his lifetime. Everything just fucking hurt... but Jungkook was there and that was all Taehyung needed to feel okay.