Stay Alive || kσσkv

.38

A few days came and went as Jungkook and Taehyung kept their little secret to themselves, and Seokjin of course but Seokjin didn't say a word. Jungkook and Taehyung were still trying to process what was happening in their life. How would they tell the group? This pregnancy would cause a lot of stress. There were so much bad thoughts Taehyung couldn't get over but who made him at peace with it? Jungkook. Jungkook was always the one to hold Taehyung's hand, or even place his hand on Taehyung's tummy with the purest smile ever. The little giggles that came from Jungkook whenever he felt a small kick. Which was firstly? Really fucking weird.

Though... Jungkook never failed to mention that those kicks were coming from their little baby growing within Taehyung. So whenever Taehyung had doubts, Jungkook would pull him out of that mindset because Jungkook thought, even if the world was like how it is... he wouldn't change a thing. If anything this just gave Jungkook more of a reason to stay alive. For Taehyung and for his unborn baby that Taehyung was carrying. Their situation wasn't ideal but what could they do? The only real thing that scared Jungkook was... well, himself. The same night he saw himself as the dead was the same night Taehyung told him he was pregnant.

So Jungkook pushed it aside and tried not to think about it but he's been... a lot weirder. Jungkook doesn't feel right and as much as he was trying to convince himself that he was, he wasn't. The nightsweats he started to have were concerning because well... Jungkook doesn't remember any of his dreams as he wakes up. Jungkook has this feeling, every single time he wakes up but he can never find the source of why he would be feeling like so. Sometimes Jungkook simply wants to scream at everyone- but he doesn't of course. It's just the sudden urges to do this and that. Then Jungkook would think of look at Taehyung and he would feel okay. Not totally but enough to realize he needed to calm down.

As much as Jungkook was afraid of himself, he didn't want to leave Taehyung alone or even have the boy out of his sight. So... Jungkook decided not to tell Yoongi what was going on. Usually every now and then Yoongi would come up to Jungkook just to check him out like right now. "And your sleep? How's that?" Yoongi asked while checking out Jungkook's pupils. Seokjin did a whole routine on Jungkook the first time they did this. Just so Yoongi would have confirmation if anything weird was actually happening. "... Good. A little stressful so it disrupts my sleeping sometimes but..." Jungkook sucked in a breath and nodded as Yoongi hummed.

Seeing Jungkook's pupils react to the light made Yoongi suspicious- but to be honest? It's not the first time Yoongi saw Jungkook's pupils dialate. Though this time the pupils dialted a lot more than they usually would. Since Jungkook brought up being stressed he assumed maybe that's why the pupils were dialating. Listen, Yoongi was no doctor and Jungkook seemed to be alright from the looks of it. So with a deep breath, Yoongi put the light down and nodded with assurance. "You're good. Pupils are... very dialated but you're feeling good right?" Yoongi observed Jungkook who nodded without a second thought.

With that, Yoongi left Jungkook who looked at his fingers for some while, deep in his thoughts before he got up but the moment he got up, Jungkook stumbled back into the chair. Jungkook's vision swirled- like he was rolling around but as he tried to focus, it all became black. "Fuck." Jungkook rubbed his eyes, cursing out as he opened up his eyes but as soon as he did, everything he saw was bloody. The walls, his finger tips, the floor started to flood with blood and everything just had... blood. "What the fuck-" Jungkook breathed in as he tried to get up but only fell to the floor, soaking himself up in the blood.

Freaking out, Jungkook got up in a panic but as soon as he got up Jungkook couldn't even process what he saw but it looked like himself, as the dead. Wanting to... feast on his human self and the moment zombie Jungkook got himself, Jungkook broke out of his trance as he gasped for breath and held his chest. Freaking out by the whole entire thing as he checked his surroundings. What the fuck did this all mean? and why now? Why the hell was this happening to Jungkook now? Curling up in the corner, Jungkook tried to catch his breath but it was clear that he was having a panic attack. Trying to wrap his head around what he just saw.

Later that day as everyone ate, Jungkook kept his gaze on Taehyung for some while before Jungkook decided that he really needed to talk to Taehyung. Pulling the boy aside, Jungkook looked at Taehyung for some while, grateful that Taehyung wasn't rushing him since Jungkook still wasn't sure what he was about to say. "... I need to find Namjoon's parents." Jungkook came out with his words but Taehyung only looked confused. "I... There's something going on with me and... I think it's because of what my parents did to me when I was younger. My... sickness?" Jungkook shrugged since he didn't know what else to call it.

"There's so much going on with me. Mentally... physically and I just... I need someone to explain what is going on with me. Namjoon's parent's both work at the same exact building my parents worked at. If I could ask or even find something that would help me then I need to do this." Jungkook grabbed at Taehyung's hands. "And I know you'll be against this but more than anything, I need to do this. Not only for me but for us. For our unborn baby... because if I stay here, I don't know what will happen and I don't want to wait around to find out."

Gulping, Taehyung shook his head lightly but then he understood why Jungkook would want to leave. "... What things are you talking about exactly Jungkook?" Taehyung asked since he was curious about what Jungkook was going through. "... Blood," Jungkook admitted in a low voice. "Every single thing I see, touch- is bloody. Then... I come for myself... as the dead. I'm- I don't know how to explain it but I'm not me. I'm starting to have blackouts Taehyung... as much as I don't want to admit that. I... I killed two people Taehyung, with a bite! Me!" Jungkook whisper shouted as the tears started to swell up and fall from Jungkook's eyes.

"Two...- no Jungkook it was only-" Taehyung tried to correct Jungkook but the boy shook his head. "... When I was in my blackout at the hotel... Lucas was watching me and I remember just blacking out and he tried to calm me down but the moment I saw his hand come into view, .. I bit him." Jungkook said with a broken tone. This was the first time ever Jungkook ever admitted to himself and to Taehyung of what happened. Thinking it was all a horrible dream until eventually, Jungkook started to remember. "... He went to clean his hand up but he turned... in my bathroom so I..." Jungkook breathed in shakily, looking up with regret.

"So I pushed him out the back window thinking he would die... and no one would find out it was me," Jungkook said quietly this time. The memory of killing Lucas came into mind as Jungkook held his head. Quick to discard his thoughts, Jungkook forced a broken laugh. "... Then he came back. The night the hotel was attacked, I saw him in the herd. The only bite he had was from me. A human!" Jungkook whisper shouted the last two words. "Or am I even human? What the fuck am I Taehyung?" Jungkook hiccuped, shaking his head.

"It's me. I-" Jungkook tried not to cry so much but everything hurt. Knowing he killed two people from what he did. The first time Jungkook wasn't even aware but the second time? Jungkook fully meant to hurt Yuta but he didn't think Yuta would fucking turn! And now it made Jungkook question everything he thought he knew about himself. Did he even know himself? As Taehyung stood there, he wiped away the tears that fell before he grabbed at Jungkook's hand but the boy pulled away. "Jungkook-" Taehyung pleaded to the boy who shook his head, pressing himself up against the wall. Everything was just eating Jungkook alive at this point.

"Jungkook, kook, baby." Taehyung cupped Jungkook's face and made the boy look at him. "I believe you okay?" And Jungkook didn't know he needed to hear those words but the moment Taehyung said he believed in Jungkook- Jungkook felt relieved because he knew he wasn't fucking crazy- he wasn't... and Taehyung knew that. "And if we need to go find Namjoon's parents, we will. As a team because you're one of us okay? You're..." Taehyung caressed Jungkook's cheek. "... You're the love of my life and the father of our baby. I'll do anything for you okay? And we're not perfect. No one in this world is. I love you and I'll still love you tomorrow and the day after and in the weeks to come. You know why?"

Getting a small hum from Jungkook, Taehyung smiled gently. "... because we have a little someone to fight for." Taehyung grabbed Jungkook's hand and put his hand on his bump. Feeling the kick, Jungkook found himself calming down as Taehyung pressed their foreheads together softly. Sniffling, Jungkook closed his eyes and nodded. Not sure what would happen from here on out but... they had each other no matter what and that's all Jungkook needed.