The Possessive Psychopath

Chapter 34

Chapter 34: Face It

Victoria Abbel's Point of View

Am I that awful?

Naiiyak na sambit ko sa aking sarili habang naglalakad. I thought they were all mean to me but I never realized that it was another way around. Is this the reason why Trevor can't even like me back? Is this the reason why he's scared of me? I want to scream from madness. Ngunit parang kahit ngayon ay hindi ko kayang sumigaw.

I walk so I can clear my head. Pero hindi ko na maiwasan na umiyak dahil naguunahan silang pumatak. That's why I keep on walking and walking until my feet felt numb. The cold weather enveloped my body as it was comforting me. I was walking on the pavement crying. But all I did was wipe them using the back of my hands. And when I felt tired from walking, I decided to sit on the bench.

And then I stared at the night sky. It was pure black. There was nothing. Doon ko na lang bigla napaisip na masyado na akong maraming taong nasaktan. It's not only about Trevor. Napatawa ako ng pagak, I am the one who is problematic. I don't want to blame myself so I blame everybody. Maybe, Cainn was right on so many levels. I always point my fingers at anyone. Ha! I even blame Trevor for not liking me back for many years now!

Don't let it sink in. I mumbled to myself and put my hands to my head. I grip myself a little tighter. There is so much anger inside of me and I just want to explode.

"No, no, no," I whispered to myself when reality hits me so hard. I did that to Mom? Nakikita ko tuloy ang kanyang katawan na parang walang buhay. She was physically there but she seems dead inside. I used to go there in her room, staring at her. I don't know what am I doing there in her room. Maybe, I always wanted to check that she was all right. But she's far from being okay. I chewed my lower lips. It's trembling far worse than my hands.

And to Georginna? Well, I think Georginna deserved it in the first place. I don't want to think of her. Pero dahil sa kwento ni Cainn ay parang nakikita ko ang buong mukha niya na may mahabang stitches mula sa kanyang bibig hanggang pisngi.

I'm really not in my usual self when I've decided to cross the street. Nagulat na lang ako nang may tumawag sa pangalan ko. There was Theo who was running towards me. And then he stops when he's near. He looks blurry in my eyes because of the tears but I can still see his worried face.

"Tori?" He asked confuse. He looked like he just run over here. Halata kasi sa lalim ng kanyang paghinga. At nang magtama ang tingin namin sinambit ko ang pangalan niya habang umiiyak.

"Timotheo!" And I cried harder looking at his familiar face. He closes the distance between us and pulls me into a tight hug. And all Theo did was stand there while I'm beating his chest with my fist.

"Theo," I whispered and clutch on his chest. Humawak ako nang mahigpit sa kanyang damit at ang buong ginawa niya lang ay hawakan ako. I never cried this hard before.

"I'm here, I'm here." Paulit-ulit niyang sinasabi habang nakayakap sa akin

"You're real, aren't you?" I said while sobbing. And I don't have a chance but to look at him. Theo looked handsome in the moonlight, his face is full of compassion and worry. His eyebrows were knotted, still confused about my sudden outburst but he didn't ask. Thank God, he didn't. Dahil hindi ko rin alam kung anong sasabihin kung magtanong siya kung bakit ako umiiyak.

"Of course, I'm real. You silly." Theo looked down at me and touch my cheeks, giving them a light squeeze. Tinaas ko rin ang kamay ko at pinisil ang pisngi niya.

"Ouch! What was that for? God, Tori it hurts." Sabi nito habang hinihilot ang kanyang pisngi.

"Okay, you're real. I thought you were just a figment of my imagination." He just gave me an apologetic look as he touch my head using his right hand and put it on my head. The next thing he did was he buried my face against his chest, my tears soaking his shirt.