The Possessive Psychopath

Chapter 9

Chapter 9: Fucked Up

Victoria Abbel's Point of View

"You bought a lot of things, should I still buy groceries?" Bungad sa akin ni Carla. May hawak itong purse at mukhang aalis na upang bumili ng stocks para dito sa bahay. When Trevor and I reached the driveway, I hurriedly went out and walk straight inside the house. That's where I saw Carla.

"Just go Carla, I bought this for myself." I said, niyakap ko ang mga binili ko at dumiretso sa loob ng kwarto. I put everything on my bed. I was planning to eat all of these. Maganda mag stress eating ngayon, lalo na sa sitwasyon ko. I open my laptop ang started watching a series in Netflix. Hindi ko namalayan kung anong oras na, kaya pagtingin ko sa orasan ay nagulat dahil alas diyes na ng gabi. Kaya naman pala, natapos ko na agad ang isang season. Oh shit! I mentally cursed when I realized that I forgot something. Hindi ko pa pala binibigyan ng pagkain ang nanay ko! She must be starving.

I hurriedly went downstairs. Nakapatay na ang lahat ng ilaw at tanging sa kusina na lamang ang nakabukas. Mukhang nakaalis na si Carla. I went to the kitchen without anyone detecting me.

The kitchen still smelled of the strong aroma of pizza. I saw Damien standing there, eating leftover pizza, and I am tempted to ask for a slice. Napansin kong puno ulit ng pagkain ang cupboard. That must be Carla.

"What a surprise." Sabi ko nang makita ko si Damien. Minsan ko lamang siya makita sapagkat madalas siyang nasa kompanya. He's looks so matured now. Halata ang pagod sa kanyang mukha.

"Don't bother making dinner for Mom. I took care of it." Masungit na turan niya sa akin. Kumuha na lang ako ng isang basong tubig at agad itong ininom.

"Iyon na nga lang ang gagawin mo dito Victoria, kinalimutan mo pa." I gulped. Is he mad?

"You should knock on my door and remind me of it." I tried easing the tension. Okay... what's his deal? What's with this sudden outburst.

"Hindi ka na bata para paalalahanan pa. And do you think I didn't knock?" I sighed. That's it. Palagi na lang nila akong sinasabihan na hindi na ako bata. I tried doing the best I can to do my function in this family. Maybe I am twenty-one and yes, I am not a kid anymore but they didn't know how much I struggled to be an adult.

"Forget it. There's no point arguing with you." He muttered when I didn't say a word. Of course Damien will say things like that. I know him. Siguro ay tingin niya sa sarili niya ay mataas siya. Dahil siya ang panganay. He will always say that arguing is futile and he will never ever stoop in your level. Geez. May superiority complex ata 'tong isa ito. Kaya imbis na damdamin pa ang sinabi niya.

He was about to leave when I asked him about something.

"Why is he here, I mean...Trevor. Why is he here?" I ask him. And I am anticipating an answer. I've been asking for days now and I wonder why and what is he doing here. Namuo ang katahamikan sa aming dalawa at mukhang pinagiisipan pa ni Damien kung sasagot siya o hindi. Finally, he gives in.

"Figuring out all his shit." He said and walked away from the kitchen. Well, thank you Damien for your wonderful answer. Mukhang may nakuha ako sa sinabi mo. Hah! Note the sarcasm, please. How can I understand that statement?

"He have a girlfriend in the Philippines, don't he? Then why is he staying here with us? Given the fact that I liked him way back then." I don't really get it. Kahit ano pang isipin kong posibilidad ay hindi pa rin ako makapaniwalang nandito si Trevor. It's been what? One week. And come to think of it, pumayag talaga ang mga kapatid ko na dito patuluyin si Trevor?

"Why don't you ask that yourself, huh?" He shook his head as if he were saying that I should look at my back. I saw Trevor standing five feet from my back.

"I'll be staying in Clevon's room. Please, don't do anything stupid, Tori." He let out a heavy sigh, I felt like I am the one who was frustrating him.

"Go, nobody wants your presence anyway," I said and focus my attention on Trevor. Kaming dalawa na lamang natira sa kusina. He walks straight to the refrigerator and gets a can of beer.

"Seem like you're interested in my personal life, Victoria." My cheeks flushed from his comment. I tried making myself occupied by checking all the foods in the cupboard. For sure ay mayroong cup noodles dito. I am tempted to ask him. Should I ask him?

I looked over my shoulders and was tempted to investigate Trevor's reaction.

"I am in relationships with..." I knew it! Mayroon siyang girlfriend! Does her girlfriend know that she's staying at our house? Is she pretty? Prettier than me? Is she smart? What type of girl she is? I should—

"Myself." Hey, what!? Naputol ang pagiisip ko nang sinabi niya ito. Pinagmasdan ko kung paano siya uminom ng beer at hinintay ang sunod niyang sasabihin.

"Call me narcissistic but I want to focus to myself first." But, the article... Did I read it right? Biglang may malamig akong naramdaman sa noo ko at 'yun ang gumising sa akin.

"Just stop thinking for a while, Tori. Don't overuse your brain cells." Nagtaasan ang lahat ng balahibo ko sa katawan. Oh no! What is he plotting? Bakit paiba iba ang attitude na pinapakita niya sa akin.

"Then why do you keep avoiding me way back then?" He was taken aback by my question. I am curious too. To all the heartaches that I got from him, I don't think he has the right to stay with us. What's wrong with him? Or should I ask, what's wrong with me? Tori, wake up. It's Trevor fucking Dmitri. The guy you fell in love with when you were twelve.

"I have nothing to do with that kind of mindset." He said grabbing a knife and leaving the kitchen. I held my breath and rapidly blinked. I refused to fall into another fit of tears. Now, he's attacking my mindset. Sino naman ang masisisi mo kung ganito ako magisip? Where in fact he will do everything to avoid me. I grabbed a bar of chocolate from the fridge and lean against the counter to calm myself down.

All I know about Trevor is he talk less. We never really have a real conversation. Naisipan kong pumunta sa kwarto ng nanay ko. Naabutan ko siyang nakahiga sa kanyang kama at mukhang mahimbing na natutulog. Lumapit pa ako sa kanya at agad nakita na isang basong tubig at sleeping pills sa side table niya. No wonder why she's sleeping peacefully today. I caressed her hair and fight the unwelcome tears.

Kahit kami ay walang kaidedeya kung nasan ang tatay naming magaling. He just left us just like that! Where is he? Ah, now roaming in hell maybe? How can he ruin his family like that! Pumunta kami at nagsettle sa lugar na ito dahil sa kanya. And now we're suffering because of him.

My mother look really tired and unhappy. Love ruined my mother. Kahit kami ay hindi niya din kinakausap. I need my mother. Umalis ako sa kwarto niya na may dalang dalawang pirasong sleeping pills. This really becomes a habit. Napadaan ako sa kwarto ni Damien na si Trevor na ang gumagamit ngayon. May napansin akong isang malaking itim na duffel bag. When he realized that I was kinda peeking inside the room, he closed it right away. I remembered that Trevor don't want someone entering his room. I shrugged my shoulders. Ang arte, akala mo naman ay may gintong maaring mawala kung may papasok sa kwartong ginagamit niya.

Tumalikod na ako at akmang aalis nang bumukas ang pinto ni Trevor.

"Trevor your action is scaring me." I bluntly said. Nakita ko kung paano magulat ang kanyang mukha.

"You will talk to me then you're not. You're approaching me then later on you will walk away." Nakita ko kung paano umigting ang panga niya. Na para bang iniiwasan niyang sigawan ako. Ahuh, may mali ba akong sinabi. I am just being honest here.

He clenched his fist and look directly at me.

"Because we're both fucked up, Tori."

***