Chapter 56: Cold As Ice

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Me: Bey Chris let me holla at you for a second, excuse me sexy lady let me talk to this bey for a second (We then walked off down the beach far enough so no one can hear what we was talking about while that chick was downing rum and talking to Shawn and terry) Bey why you treating me like this bey like you don't even want be in my presence I did nothing wrong.

Chris: Mjay stop tripping I giving you your space like you wanted nigga but everything aint always about you ya know and what you wanted to talk to me about

Me: I wanted to tell you I realize that I was being selfish and I don't know if you might feel the same way about me but I miss you baby. I come to realize that I don't need space from you what we have is real and I forgive you for the trey situation I know now you was protecting me. What you and I have is real and I don't want loose it I want find myself being with you. Terry and Shawn talked some since in me and made me realize this shit bey. I want give us a next shot bey; let's just start over from a clean slate baby just me and you. I love you nigga. (Chris just looked at me) Hello nigga you going to say anything?

Chris: What you want me to say? (He looked at me with a wtf look)

Me: I want you say I love you too and I miss you baby and say let's get back together, bey why you treating me like this I did nothing to you chris

Chris: Look mjay real talk, I don't know what to say, I would say let's get back together but I would be lying bruh. Mjay we done bey I don't want be with you no more bruh. This what gets to me you think that this shit all about you and you call the shots bruh but guess what it aint bey. I am done with you bey I moving on as you can see so do the same nigga.

Me: No lie my life couldn't get any worst then it already had so I thought while he was talking and tears just rolled down my eyes then I said. Bey Chris you don't mean this shit bey why you doing me like this bey, I thought you love me bey. Do you love me nigga! Do you love me bey!

Chris: No I don't bey, really I never did it was just all sex to me bey real talk. Besides I can't be falling in love with no nigga bruh , niggas aint meant to be with niggas point blank. I done with niggas I on my wife run now I want have children and I want to get married real talk.

Me: Chris!! Bey what the fuck, nigga I gave you my virginity bey, I fucking took your fist nigga, I almost got kill for you bey, you treated me like a prince, you took me away for my birthday you telling me all that shit that went down don't me nothing to you bey. I don't believe you bey, you love me I know you do bey why you acting like this bey, you got me fucking acting like a bitch over you.

Chris: Mjay I don't love you , I really don't, so fuck off, man fuck this shit I going home man, you on some gay shit right now.

Me: I fucking hate you bey!! I fucking hate you and I punched him in the mouth and he fell to the ground. I throw all my might into that punch because he fell then I said Nigga fuck me , fuck you bey I fucking hate you bey. I hate you.

Chris: Yea nigga I going to let you win that one you going to regret that punch, I should knock you the fuck out but do what you got to do man, we finish, link you nigga ( Then he begin to walk off) have a good life

Me: I thought to myself this nigga was lying to me this hold time I just cried like a bitch and I got to angry and I picked up a rock and I throw it at him. Luckily it hit him in the back of his head and he just brushed it off and he kept walking.

I droped to the floor and I just was crying like I a bitch I couldn't believe what he said to me and it really made me feel suicidal real talk. I felt like sea weed I felt low very low. This nigga been lying to me this entire time and he had been pretending to love me when I was falling in love with him like a fool. Why the fuck I open that door when he came in my room smoking the first time we kissed. Why the fuck I didn't act like I didn't want him. Why the fuck I didn't show him he meant nothing to me. Why the fuck I didn't cheat on him long time. Why the fuck did I let him be my first? Questions just pop up in my head all asking me why and it hurt, it hurt so bad I never felt this pain thatstruck my heart before. I thought I was dying in that very spot. I just hold my chest and cried out loud and I can see in the distance that only Terry and Shawn was there where they were drinking. I got up and wipe my tears and begin my walk down to Terry and Shawn. Right now I don't know how to feel about myself I felt like it was my fault I should have never broken up with him in the first place. I started to beat down myself and I couldn't stop crying. I reach Terry and Shawn and I held my head down I didn't want look them in the face because I know my eyes were red as fuck. I didn't want them to see because I would then have to go through an explanation and I really didn't want talk right now. I just said niggas yall lets go.

Shawn: Mjay what gone down bey, yall back together?

Terry: What happen lil bro

Me: Niggas no lie I don't really want talk about it alright I just want leave man lets go home man

Like I said I wanted to go home and we left and while was driving we passed KFC on the way home and saw Chris's nitro parked in the parking lot. Then I looked and glimpsed him and the girl at a table by the window laughing and having a ball. I then realise I might be hurting right now but nigga your day going to come. I reached home and mum and dad was in the front room eating and I hailed them but I kind of rushed in the room I didn't want talk to know one. I went to my room and ran in the bathroom and I broke down again not as bad as the beach but what he said kept replying in my head on and on. The sentence I don't love you and fuck off real cut me deep I can't believe this nigga. I know it aint the last time I will see him but I know I will never ever forgive him for what he said to me real talk but I guess life goes on. Knock, knock, knock. Who it is? It's me Shawn bey, nigga come out this bathroom let's talk nigga and I aint moving from this door tell you come out bruh.

Me: Nigga then I will just stay in here, I got drinking water just no food I can live 2 weeks tops on water.

Shawn: Mjay get the fuck out the bathroom and let's talk dawg

Me: I didn't want to talk at all but I know he just concern so I open the door and went to lock my room door and we went to lay down.

Shawn: bey what gone down bey, you alright

Me: I begin to cry again, no bey I aint I feel so stupid , betrayed and hurt. Bey chris told me he don't love me and he never did, that it was just all sex to him. Sniff Sniff nigga told me must fuck off. He told me that niggas aint suppose to love niggas and that he on a wife hunt he want get married and have children and shit. Bey I feel so , so, so bey I just can't even describe to you how I feel but I feel so fucked up bey. I gave this nigga everything in my heart and he stomped on. He told me I always think it about me. Nigga I'm I really like that doe?

Shawn: Bey that nigga he aint say that shit to you bey no dawg. He got to be lying cause what I saw it had to be love you cant fake that shit bey. It had to be real and am sorry you had to stand there and listen to him say that shit. But what doesnt kill you my nigga will only make you stronger bro. Don't watch nigga scene bey just move on and focus on you bey, live for you and do what's best for you. Chris is plain lying or in denial nigga but I going to tell Terry fuck his ass up for doing yo like this.

Me: Nigga , leave it man don't tell terry anything. Terry can't go around beating everyone that comes along and break my heart but hey like you say life goes on. I aint going to ly to you I feel so fucking broken right now but I going to try bounce back from this shit but its going to be hard. I guess this is my trial to make me stronger so I will move on.

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