Meant For You

five.

Miles Dempsey

"Another win, how we feeling baby!" Tate shouts in my ear as we walk back into the locker room after a 3-1 win versus the Panthers. We've been on a sexy ten-game winning streak and I don't plan on killing it yet. I don't like getting overly excited about shit but I also don't want to be grandpa and not celebrate with the team.

I smile, pushing Tate into the locker room before jumping on his back. He catches me swiftly, putting me down a couple of seconds later. The rest of the team celebrates around us with chants and bangs on lockers. I can't help the smile that curves onto my lips as I start removing my pads and skates.

"You're coming out tonight, kid. No excuses!" Cap tells me. Oh, I know it's serious when Cap is coming out. He's a lot older than the rest of us so he goes home to his family after games. I hold my hands up in defense after removing my gloves. "I'll be there, promise!" I chuckle. He shoots me a wink before making his way back to his locker.

We take our time getting ready since we played at home. I sit on the bench with only boxer briefs and socks on while the fellas get ready. "I can't believe Cap agreed to a club tonight!" JT cheers. At eighteen, he's only been to the club once before and that was with me. Worst mistake of my life taking him to one of those.

"Only because his lady will be joining us. Thank her for finding a babysitter on such short notice," Kelz, our left winger, acknowledges. "Thank you, Mrs. Anderson," JT jokes as he slips on his jeans. I shake my head. If he even thinks about getting as drunk as he did last time, I'm going to kick his little ass. "And hell froze over because Dempsey is showing his face tonight!" Tate shouts from across the locker room.

I lift my arm to flick him off and he puts a hand over his heart playfully. I laugh at that. "Fucker," I mumble. "Don't be mean to him or he'll ditch us for Allie," Kelz adds. I roll my eyes. I haven't even thought about her all week. As I'm about to say something back, my phone vibrates next to my thigh. I narrow my eyes to read the name.

It's Tiffany. My manager. Why is she calling after a game? I stand up and walk out somewhere quieter before pressing the phone to my ear. "Miles! God, I didn't know if you'd actually pick up. Congratulations on the win tonight," Tiff's high-pitched voice fills my ears. "Thank you, thank you. Everything alright?" I ask. Usually, she doesn't call after games or even before.

"Yes. But, uhm, I need to know if you still want me to get ahold of the PI you requested me to get for you. She's a busy lady and doesn't take clients as much as I'd hope she would. She's getting impatient is what I'm trying to say," she says quickly. I clench my jaw slightly and close my eyes shut, leaning my head against the wall.

I found a private investigator a couple of weeks ago. To find my birth parents. I hadn't even thought about it this past week and a half because of how hectic my schedule has been. That's a good thing if I'm being honest. The fact that I have no idea who my birth parents are tends to keep me up at night. Since I haven't been thinking about it, I've been sleeping like a baby. I didn't need this reminder.

Holding off on not getting the PI wasn't for no reason though. I've been trying to figure out if I should just go ahead and find out everything for myself or finally ask my parents to give me information on who my birth parents are. I can't even begin to think about having that conversation with them. I know it's hard for every parent of adopted kids to get asked that question. The fear of their kid finding and enjoying their birth family comes to light with that conversation.

Thing is, I love my mom and dad. Regardless of who I meet - if I ever do - they'll never be my mom and dad. I wouldn't mind building a relationship with my birth mother and father. I think we all deserve a chance at that if it's what we all want. That irrational fear that they won't want anything to do with me is also there. I have a huge fear of rejection. I also have a fear of being used.