Meant For You

thirty-two.

Nola Scott

Worlds were approaching quickly.

As much as I wished time would stop for a while, it didn't. Practices were getting tougher but I was able to pull it together. Coach Laurel occasionally made me do my routine in whole to start getting me used to it. By now, all we were doing was perfecting my jumps and performance. While I was scared, I was also excited.

Excited for the potential of winning at Worlds and then participating at Worlds. Then in a year or so, I'd hit the ice on the Olympic stage. I was trying not to get too ahead of myself. There were still two competitions before then and they were as equally important. Training for Worlds had to be the hardest thing I'd done up until now but it was worth it.

I could see how much stronger I was getting. Not just in figure skating but emotionally and physically. My physique was better than it had been in years. Eating healthy and training every day worked a lot better than I imagined. Since figure skating was becoming my main focus, there wasn't much time for anything else.

Ember would tell me about everything she was doing this semester. Frat parties, nights out at the bars, late night studying in the library. Those were things I had been missing out on because of figure skating. I didn't mind because the goal I was trying to reach was bigger than any of those things. But I was still a nineteen-year-old girl, I had terrible FOMO. So now I was living vicariously through my roommate.

It was Saturday evening and Ember was getting ready to go out. I lay in her bed as she decided on something to wear. "How about this one?" She turned away from her mirror to face me. This was about her tenth outfit change of the night. "Em, just like the last one, it's great! He will eat you up in anything you wear." I smirk, thinking about JT.

The two of them had finally talked for the first time in a while last week. JT was taking her out tonight but Ember swore it wasn't a 'date'. Just two friends going out. I even heard that Miles had actually let Jay borrow the BMW tonight. Never the Lambo.

"I don't want him to eat me up, Nola. We're just friends." My words brought a flush to her cheeks and she turned around again to change. "Right," I said in almost a whisper. My phone vibrated against my thigh.

JT: Is she almost ready? Why am I nervous? Is she nervous? Say yes.

I laugh a little bit. I've been texting him since earlier about this and been around Ember the whole day. It's fun to see both sides of this.

Miles: The kid is shitting himself.

Miles' text almost makes me flinch. I haven't talked to him much since the night of Jess's wedding. When I came to drop off JT and saw he was with Allie...again. It hurt a little I can't lie. It's been about two weeks but I still can't process what happened that night. How I feel about him is a blurry mess. I don't want to have feelings for him but it's hard not to. He's such a great guy. Like too good to be true.

My whole life, I've always gotten my heart broken by guys because of how fast I give it to them. As I started getting older, I tried to stop doing that. Because nothing hurt more than falling for someone so deeply and then figuring out their feelings aren't even remotely close to yours. It's obvious that I wasn't trying to fall for Miles when I first met him.

I thought what we had would stay a friendship. He's a professional hockey player for fucks sake. I didn't think I'd be texting and seeing this guy multiple times a week. We became good friends these last two months and now feelings were forming. How pathetic is that? I haven't even known the guy for two months and I've already attempted - and failed - to kiss him.

I'm just confused.

Yes, I wanted to kiss him. But he was the one who leaned in. And then pulled away. If he was already back together with Allie, why did he do that? He played with my feelings so much in that moment. My heart almost dropped out of my ass when he pulled away and said he didn't mean to do what he did. It wasn't a good feeling at all.