Meant For You

nineteen.

Nola Scott

The next morning, my nerves were all over the place. Coach Laurel suggested we carpool to the rink so we could talk a bit before getting there. Of course, I didn't pass up on the offer especially since I was a shaking mess and wasn't sure I was going to be able to drive myself thirty minutes to the rink.

I thought Coach Laurel would help calm my nerves but she just made them worse. For most of the car drive, she spoke and I nodded along so she knew I was listening. And I was listening. Very intently because I had no intention of fucking this up. Not before it even started.

She told me about the two other girls who would be practicing alongside me and didn't fail to mention all their accomplishments. Basically, I was shit on the floor compared to them. They were all stars and I was me. Second, the talk about a cleaner, more complex routine had me shaking in my skates. I was just starting to clean up mine but Worlds is bigger than the competitions I was competing at.

We were going to add more complex moves and make the ones I already had in there longer. I was going to be pushed to the extreme and while I was ready, I also wasn't. I was terrified. This was a big change and it was all hitting me quickly.

By the time we made it to the rink, I was an anxiety-ridden mess. "Remember, just be yourself, and don't let anything bring you down. You belong in here as much as they do, it's why you're here alongside them," Coach Laurel finally gives me words of encouragement that I had been waiting for the whole half of an hour here. I nod and walk inside the cold rink when she opens the door for me.

She leads the way and I follow behind her with my head held high. "Laurel, you made it!" A middle-aged woman shouts from the ice. "I did and I brought my girl!" Coach says, pointing back at me. "Hi." I smile shyly as I already see two younger girls on the ice. They stare at me and I try not to look at them for too long. "Change into your skates," coach tells me and I do as she says. Setting my pink duffel bag down, I pull my skates out and tie them up as quickly as possible.

We step onto the ice a couple of minutes later, joining the four other women who wait for us. "Ladies, you'll be seeing a lot of each other for the next three months so introduce yourselves to one another," one of the coaches says. The girl with the black hair reaches a hand out to me, "I'm Mei." Then the redhead extends her hand as well. "And I'm Karington." I give them both smiles. "Nola, nice to meet you girls!" Their coaches introduce themselves to me and we all get to know each other for a bit before separating.

When Coach Laurel and I make our way to our rink, I'm a shaking mess. I've never been in a situation like this. Those girls radiated confidence and excellence and I was a nervous wreck. I hoped I could get to their level by the end of the month at least. For the next three and half hours, we go over my new routine and talk about what we're adding, taking out, and extending. We're also changing my song which I figured we would do.

I practice my triple flip into a triple toe loop which is new to my routine. It's what I spend most of my time practicing until we take an hour's lunch and come back. The rest of the practice consists of jump sequences and axel practice. I've come to realize that Coach Laurel wasn't messing around when she told me I'd have a lot of triples in my routine. While I've been good at hitting them at practice, there are times when I fail.

Practice makes perfect. I've got three months.

I stay for about an hour longer to practice my triple lutz until Coach Laurel is dragging me off the ice. "We've been here for eight hours, c'mon! We'll be back tomorrow." I almost whine to her that eight hours isn't enough but decide against it. The woman did everything to get me here so who am I to complain?

The car ride back is pretty silent until we reach my apartment complex. "You did great today, Nola," Coach Laurel says. I sigh, trying very badly not to break down. It's only day one, Nola, get it together. "Coach... I don't know if I can do it. It's three months! What if I'm not ready?" I pour my fears out onto her.