Chapter Forty-Seven

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Another day of nothing, today was just a resting day the Scouts didn't do anything, and I just sat around because well I'm not really on speaking terms with Armin.

Why do I do the things I do?

He was just trying to help me, and I got mad because he was right. It is Annie, it will always be her. I will never be able to live my life if I still know Annie.

I sit at a table alone watching as Connie ties Sasha up, as she went wild to eat all of the meat. It's special today, that is why the meat was served.

I don't eat any of the meat I have I don't feel hungry for any of it. I'll just give it to Sasha; I don't have much of an appetite.

Even in Marley I never really got any delicacies, it wasn't my job to enjoy things it was my job to fight.

There are many things I haven't tried; I mean I haven't even been to the ocean. Let alone try all the delicious foods Marley has, I remember one time I really wanted to try ice cream. I was young and I've never had a treat.

Annie stole a cone for me, but I never did get to try it. Because our dad found out he wasn't happy he slapped it to the floor from my hands. I pleaded for him not to, and all he said was if I wanted it, I should eat it off the floor.

And whenever someone tells me to do something, I do.

After he went inside and left me outside with the melted ice cream on the ground, I did what he said. Or I at least tried.

My mouth was basically in contact with the ice cream until I heard it, until I heard Annie.

"Adelita, what are you doing?" She asked me, I lost focus of my goal as I started to talk to her.

"Dad didn't like the treat you got me, he put it on the floor and told me to eat it if I want it. And I do." I told her quietly; I still remember the grip she had on my hair as she was pulling me away from the ice cream.

"He didn't mean it, don't be so dumb now. You eat from the floor you'll get sick." She told me loudly as she finally let go of my hair, I didn't listen to her though, and kept urging that he meant it.

"He told me to, I must listen."

"And I'm telling you not to."

I can still remember the way my eyebrows fell; the way tears fell down my face. Annie didn't like when I cried, I don't know why. Maybe she thought it meant I was weak.

"Don't be a baby... I'll take another one next week, and I'll make sure you get to eat it." She wiped my tears while shaking her head at me.

"You're weak, you can't let things like this make you cry. What would you do if I wasn't here?" Instead of answering her question, I remember I kept quiet, changing the subject not wanting her to ridicule me anymore.

"What does ice cream taste like?"

"I don't know, never had it." I was confused that she said that, how could she never have tried it if she took one for me?

"I stole it for you Adelita, it would've been harder to steal two."

I nod at her words until I came up with something. "I know what we can do! We can take the money from dad! If we take it from him, you wouldn't have to steal it. Then we can both have ice cream."

I remember how Annie laughed at what I said, Annie never laughed a lot, so I remember seeing that made me happy.

"Okay, when dad falls asleep, we can take the money."

I smile at her, but it drops when I hear dad's voice.

"Come in, you both need to sleep. Training time has been moved earlier." Both of us nod walking inside silently.

I grow sad at the memory. We never did get to try the ice cream; Annie and I were both caught stealing the money our father was furious.

He made Annie and I train, but against each other it was brutal, and Annie didn't hold back.

I remember how I cried for her to stop, and how I apologized, but all of it was ignored.

Annie didn't talk to me for weeks after that.

Our father was upset, he didn't like how 'weak' I was. He always said Annie would be the better warrior, and I must've only been given my life to birth warriors.

I still wonder, how does ice cream taste?

I'm pulled out of the memory when I realize I'm just letting my meat go cold, I really should give it to Sasha.

I stand up grabbing my plate of meat, I stop right where Sasha is tied up and drop it next to her. I smile at her as I pat her head and walk off.

I know Armin is looking at me, but I don't have the guts to look back. He probably hates me now; I mean I don't exactly like myself either.

As I walk out of the building, I realize I don't want to go to bed there is too much on my mind for me to do anyways.

So, I just decide to take seat on the ground, my body hidden away by one of the walls. I look up and stare at the stars in the sky, it's a full moon tonight.

There isn't a bird in sight though, I guess it's too late for them to be out. I like birds, they're cool and if I were to die, I would want to come back as one.

"Leonhart, what are you doing out here?" I hear a loud voice ask me I look up to see the captain. "Just wanted some air, I didn't want any meat." The captain nods his head while taking a seat next to me, I stare at him confused.

"What's with the face?" He asks while taking a long sip from his drink, "Nothing. I just don't know why you're by me."

"No reason really, I just saw you alone. You didn't eat, and you're not with those brats."

"Oh, yeah I kind of spoke rudely to Armin. So, I doubt he would want to see me right now. Trying to keep a distance." I say lowly as I continue to look at the stars.

"Look, I'm not amazing with this... but you should just talk to him, you know we're going on a risky mission very soon. If any of them die, you'll regret it."

I sigh when he says that, it makes me think of Annie. I regret not going with her because now she is just gone. I would want to tell her something, but I doubt she would care to hear it.

"With all respect, Captain. I don't care what you have to say."

He chuckles at that, as he begins to speak again. "You and Armin, what an odd pairing you two are."

"Don't bring him up," I whisper, still feeling guilty for the things I said to him.

Silence fills the air as neither of us speaks after that, well until the captain decides he needs to say something.

"Our mission is huge; you are one of our best fighters. I don't want to see you dead; you need to stop thinking."

"It's hard." That is all I say in response.

"I know, I've been doing this longer than you." I finally pull myself to look him in the eyes. As he continues talking.

"When I started here, I had people close to me, they died eventually. And I felt at fault for it... that is the only reason I am telling you to just stop thinking, I know you lost your sister, so you think distancing yourself is the best. But it's not. You're just going to lose them too."

I pull myself up from the ground ignoring what the captain told me, I don't care.

"I'm going to bed; we need to be up early tomorrow. Isn't that right Captain?"

He nods, taking another long sip of his drink. "You brats just don't listen."

Is all I hear him say I was walking away; I know distancing myself is wrong. But I don't deserve Armin, I'm not enough for him.

He doesn't deserve someone like me.


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A/N

This is just sorta a filler chapter, I wanted to add more from Annie and Adelita's childhood. I was thinking of writing some other chapters that are filler of them growing up in Marley.

-lei <3

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