Richard Ayoade's Disenchantmentplace

Chapter 27

Elfo: I would say it good to be back but I can't shake the feeling that life is meaningless and I'm gonna die alone.

Bean: I'm cold, and I hate everything, and this gravel really hurts but it's exactly how I feel inside, so it makes sense.

Elfo: Those  were my pet squirrel's last words before he died. He was a talking squirrel. He got run over by a wheelbarrow. Those were his only words.

Y/n: You know what hurts more? Being rejected. Twice. What a bitch. I tried my best to be a gentleman but yet she was so stubborn and difficult. Ugh.

Luci then tossed an elf out of the bar.

Luci: Get lost, you deadbeat! See in church! Oh, hey, deadbeats. Whoa. You three look like you need a drink. I say that to all my customers but this time this I mean it.

Bean: No, thanks. That's just gonna make me sadder. And then happier. And then sadder.

Y/n: Yeah, I feel like I could drink because I'm so depressed how I failed to win over this one girl's affection twice.

Elfo: We all had our hearts broken. Y/n fell in love with a girl who didn't even like him and Bean fell in love with a mermaid but it was all in her head.

Bean: And he fell for a gal that was just a head. Obviously, we're not fixated on traditional body norms.

Luci: Wow. You two are really hurt, huh? Noice! I don't wanna miss this.

They then went towards the kingdom.

Turbish: Halt! Why goes there?

Mertz: It's not why, you idiot, it's who. And you know who it is, it's Bean.

Turbish: Bean's an idiot?

Mertz: No, you are! That's who.

Turbish: I'm who goes there?

Mertz: No! who goes there is there. And now they're gone.

Everyone then carried on.

Bean: Good to know know the kingdom is still in safe hands.

Y/n: Careful, Bean, you might speak too soon.

Bean: What makes you say that?

Y/n: Well, all we know that the castle could be overrun by pirates and bandits and they come and kill everyone and so on.

Next scene.

Herald: Announcing the unexpected return of Princess Tiabeanie! Warning, she appears to be in a bit of a mood.

Bean then came by and slapped the back of his head.

Zøg: Beanie, you're back! How was the health spa?

Bean: Um, what?

Oona: I had to tell poor Zøggy you were somewhere safe because he is losing his mind.

Zøg: Did you get Chazzed? I did.(babbles)

Y/n: Dear god.

Oona: I think he's getting worse.

He then began honking.

Oona: Quiet! That's enough! Everything Zøg honks, he takes one step closer to total insanity.

Zog then honks once moreZ

Oona: Oh, no. He's just fine from nuts to screwy.  I have been looking after him for weeks, and now it's your turn.

Zog honks again.

Oona: Ugh. I need nap.

Bean: I got a lot to do now. Like go to my room and cry in the fetal position. My pillow's not gonna sob into itself.