Esme had enjoyed hanging us with the girls as she hadn't gotten very close to Beth or Leah before. She had found it particularly fun to watch Katie and Ruesha together. Soon it was 930 and Esme knew she would have to wake up the sleeping teen to take her meds. She excused herself saying she was tired and went to tally's room. Gently she shook her awake and said, "Bea it's time to take your meds, baby!" Quietly as the girl looked exhausted. Luckily, she already has a full water bottle, so she got out of bed and got all the meds out of her drawer and took them one at a time while Esme watched her intently. She put them all back before getting her inhaler out, she was supposed to do this twice a day, but she would always forget. She never used to have asthma this bad, she always had it growing up but very mildly. Then she started to go out and smoke and party, and since then her lungs had progressively gotten worse. Esme looked at her. "Since when have you had red and brown inhalers, I thought you only had to have blue?" She said confused. Tally laughed awkwardly knowing she wouldn't like the response she would give her big sister. "It's from going out so much after last year I started to drink and smoke loads when I fell out with Drea and it made my asthma like way worse and I kept having asthma attacks so Bekah took me in to get retested and I did and they said my lung capacity had gone down because of the smoking so now I have to take those ones as well!" tally explained looking deep into Esme's eyes not wanting her to be disappointed in her.
she broke eye contact and looked down as she did her inhalers and put them back into her draw in silence as Esme stood there speechless. "Oh, baby I don't know what to say, please tell me you have stopped now?" asked Esme gently while she got her pyjamas out of her bag. tally nodded at her, and Esme placed her pyjamas onto her bed and brought the girl into a hug kissing the top of her head. she released tally and started to get changed into her pyjamas as tally did the same. Esme got into the bed next to tally who rested her head on Esme's chest as she began to drift off
14th September
The next morning tally woke up and looked at the clock, "Jesus it's only 630?" she thought as she felt the need to move course through her veins as something weighed heavily on her mind. She got up making sure to not disturb Esme who was still peacefully sleeping. She grabbed her empty water bottle to fill up and made her way to the kitchen with her phone where she found Ruesha sitting on the sofa in the connected living room. She filled her water bottle up and decided if she ate now, she wouldn't have to eat until lunch which was ages away, so she grabbed a bowl of granola with some blueberries and a glass of juice and sat down on the sofa next to Ruesha. "Morning!" she said quietly to Ruesha who smiled at her and patted her leg "good morning kiddo how come you up so early?" Ruesha asked. Tally shrugged not really sure herself. "I woke up and just wasn't tired so decided to get breakfast, how come your up this early?" tally replied as she put her bowl of granola down on the table and began to drink her juice slowly. "couldn't sleep Katie kept kicking me!" Ruesha laughed and tally giggled as well. Tally looked thoughtful for a moment. She sat there unsure of what to say or do, well she knew what she wanted to say but she didn't know how. "How did you know... that you liked girls?" asked tally not able to bring herself to say the word gay. Tally felt relieved to have almost admitted that she liked girls Ruesha looked at and smiled and gave her a hug. Normally tally didn't like it when people she didn't really know gave her hugs but with Ruesha it was surprisingly comforting and felt safe.
"I think deep down I always knew but I didn't understand what it meant or how to deal with it but when I went up to the senior team for Ireland I made a lot of friends who were gay and they helped me accept it but I think I definitely noticed at school when my friends would talk about boys I wouldn't understand and couldn't relate to it instead having a crush on a girl not a boy! Are you questioning your sexuality" said Ruesha softly trying to make tally feel comfortable as it was obvious, she didn't feel comfortable at all with this topic. Tally shrugged at the last comment. "Well, that's okay, you never should feel that you have to be defined by labels, how come you asked me not Beth who you have gotten to know better?" Ruesha gently asked and once again tally shrugged. Little did she know Beth had woken up too from the sounds of tally getting up. She had been listening intently waiting for the right moment to walk in. "I think it was just easier that I don't know you as well but I'm not sure really I think it a right time right place thing, its just its difficult my mum is really anti-gay and I just I don't know our relationship is fucked enough as it is and I mean she never really acted like a mum but it doesn't really need to get any worse to the point where it might affect my siblings because I can't let that happen to them!" explained tally. Ruesha gave her a hug and they were joined by Beth which shocked tally as she wouldn't have said anything if she knew other people were listening. "We love you either way!" whispered Beth who had sandwiched her into a hug with Ruesha. "When did you start listening?" asked tally nervously.
Beth sighed and moved to sit next to the girl bringing her onto her lap like a child, but she needed to know that they were there for her no matter what. "I heard all of it sweetheart!" She said sympathetically, thinking back to when she felt similarly about how her. "Oh," she said sounding defeated. "Have u been having thoughts?" Asked beth gently, approaching the topic carefully. Tally looked down before looking back up at her feeling tears come to her eyes. "Depends on what you class as thoughts, if esme heard u say that she think I was gonna go try to off myself again!" She said laughing before she realised what she said. "Ignore I said that I have no filter when I'm stressed, but I mean back to what you actually meant I just don't know I mean I've been with boys but I didn't feel anything like it at all but I just don't know its just all too much for me!" She said once again feeling ashamed of her feelings. She knew it wasn't wrong to like girls but it had been drilled into her and she just didn't know how to feel
In this chapter, we see how her brain works and how her childhood is still affecting her
No, I cannot deal with beths ACL injury she was doing so well
Comment any ideas you have x
YOU ARE READING
Baby of the team - WSL
Teen Fiction"I'm a kid it's not my responsibility to parent your kids because I am done!" Tallulah O'Sheere had the perfect life until she didn't. Years onwards now she started to get unhealthy coping mechanisms like drinking and smoking and more when she threw...
