Baby of the team - WSL

part 29

tw ed

Tally didn't know what to do with herself. She trusted leah so much, and then she went and did that. How could she? After everything she had told her about what she was feeling and how private she was, she went and did that. She trusted leah. Well, that's a mistake that's never going to happen again. she let the boiling hot water scold her body needing to feel the pain but she couldn't do anything to quell her need for it as she had seen beth take the sharp objects out of the bathroom before she showered as she didn't trust her not too. Beth had a point, though she wouldn't trust herself either.

She washed her hair, not wanting beth and jordan to worry about her as she was taking so long. She got out of the shower and looked at herself. She felt so fat. She was the absolute opposite of fat. She was painfully skinny. The girls had all begun noticing a bit that her weight was slowly dropping, but they didn't say anything to her. They all knew better than that. Except for Katie, apparently. she couldn't be mad at Katie tho she hadn't meant it. it was in these moments that she really needed leah. but she went where she should never have gone. 

she got out of the shower and wrapped herself in a towel. she dried herself off. she put on her underwear and put in a new tampon. she put on her black joggers and grabbed her hoodie and top and her towel and went out to the bedrooms. she needed to dry her hair before she put her top on. she went out in just her bike greeny blue thin strap sports bra and joggers. jordan and beth looked up at her. beth was surprised to see the kid without her top on knowing how scared she was of exposing her arms and stomach both littered with scars. "I need to dry my hair!" she said softly feeling the need to justify it. beth and jordan nodded softly. Tally sat down on Beth's bed and began to dry her hair.

Katie felt awful. She had no idea the kid had an eating disorder. She could see it as clear as day now. The weight loss, the tears around meals, the holding hands with one of the girls. It was all so obvious now. How could she have been that dense? She had rushed away quickly after they left. She got a text from beth saying they were in their shared room. She went into one of the quiet rooms and called ruesha Fumbling around on her phone trying to get it up but struggling cos she was softly crying and her hands were shaking. She felt ashamed of herself for what she said. she finally managed to call up ruesha who answered quickly. "I did something so stupid rue, I've been such an idiot!" Katie said sounding very upset. ruesha was worried about what had happened. "what's happened Katie what did you do?" she asked worriedly slightly fearing the results knowing that Katie had absolutely no filter. "I said something so stupid to tally. God I feel so awful about it how could I be so stupid I'm such an idiot I said something about how much she was eating. she was so upset ruesh like she ran out and then leah told us she had an eating disorder. I'm such an awful human being and then she came back in and beth took her back out and we could hear. she was crying so loudly. she sounded so upset. and it's all my fault!" Katie rambled. ruesha sighed. she wasn't surprised that tally had an eating disorder. she wasn't surprised at all. she saw how uncomfortable she was with food and she just didn't quite eat enough she would spend ages pushing it around her plate or she would bin it. "oh Katie, well it wasn't the smartest thing to say either way but you couldn't have known that she has an eating disorder. she probably really didn't want anyone to know. just apologise and do something to make it up to her!" ruesha said trying to reassure Katie. katie nodded. they talked for a bit longer then ruesha had to go to training. katie went into the bathroom and washed her face trying to make it look like she hadn't been crying. 

she went up to leahs room and knocked on the door gently. leah opened the door and Katie could tell she had been crying too. leah looked annoyed before realising she too had been crying. she opened the door and Katie went and sat down on Leah's bed fiddling with the zip of her hoodie. "I'm really sorry for being so stupid leah. I should have thought about what I was saying before I said it. I'm sorry!" Katie said looking down not wanting to look her in the eyes. leah could hear the remorse guilt and sadness in her voice. she went and sat down next to Katie. "your not apologising to the right persons but thanks and she is more annoyed at me so she'll forgive you like straight away!" leah reminded her voice full of sorrow. Katie looked up and saw the tears in her eyes. "you were just trying to protect her she knows that and I'm sure beth has told her that!" Katie said reassuring her. leah nodded. 

Soon it was lunchtime and tally had made a deal with beth that she would eat a plain peanut butter and jam sandwich as long as she didn't have to face everyone. Beth agreed just happy she was eating and Jordan stayed with tally while beth went to get food. "I want leah but at the same time I feel really pissed at her!" Tally said softly as she lay cuddled into Jordan who was softly rubbing her stomach knowing the girl had cramps and just didn't want to say anything. "I can get her to come here if you want?" Jordan offered. Tally shrugged not sure how she was feeling about that idea. Jordan sent a message to leah telling her to come up to the toom while tally went to the toilet. She didn't need to go to the toilet but she needed a quick release. if she was at home she would have just gone for a swig of vodka or some other alcohol and she missed not being able to do that now. it just took the edge off of life sometimes. seeing as she couldn't do that she ran the hot tap as hot as it would go wincing and grimacing as cramps washed over her. she ran her hands under the hot tap feeling a sense of relief as the edge was taken off slightly. sighing as she turned the tap, she changed her tampon grimacing at the uncomfortable feeling. her hands were bright red from the scolding water but she didn't care as she did it again letting the burning hot water flow over her hands and letting out a sigh of relief as she scrubbed her hands as hard as she could.

she quickly turned the water off and left the bathroom stuffing her hands into her pockets as she heard someone knocking on beths door. she saw jordan open the door. leah walked in and tally immediately noticed the guilty tearful face. she looked at leah unsure and then looked down picking at her hands. it was a thing she had always done it helped her to get a grip on her OCD as had the repetitive hand washing. ever since she had been little she had had a problem with germs. it was after she had gotten cancer the 1st time that she realised quite how easily she would get ill. it had spiralled ever since then and her OCD meds helped with it for the most part. but only for the most part. there were still occasions that she needed it to calm her down. leah sat down next to tally on Beth's bed. "I'm really sorry I told everyone you have an eating disorder I didn't mean to I was just worried about you and mad at Katie and forgot everyone was there I'm so sorry sweetheart I never meant to betray your trust like that!" leah said sounding very remorseful and upset tally could see she was on the verge of tears. 

tally looked at leah trying to decide what to do. cautiously she held out her red almost raw hand. leah didn't say anything about the sorry state of the girl's hands. she gladly took her hand and wrapped it tightly in hers. she gave it a gentle kiss and patted the girl on the head softly running her hand through the girl's slightly wet hair happy that tally would let her do that. tally inched closer to leah slightly resting her head on leahs shoulder while jordan nodded encouragingly at her. "I know you didn't mean to hurt me and you just wanted to protect me. please promise you wont do it again though!" tally said softly. leah gently and loosely gave her a hug not wanting to overdo it. "of course I promise sweetheart I love you yeah kid!" leah said affectionatly.

beth came in with some food. jordan had texted her to bring food for leah too and she had. beth gave tally some pesto and bacon pasta with peas and carrots, a snack bar and some orange juice. tally thanked her and actually felt quite hungry. leah got the same as tally just without peas as they were a bit too exotic for her. 

this actually happened to me so I kinda wrote from that just adding stuff to it. 

who thinks mana is going to leave - I think she should as she is undervalued at arsenal but it will be really sad

rach, lucy and jordan all playing together is actually so lovely and ruesha as well I need them to be on ruetube tho.

please leave comments and suggestions if you want to I appreciate them so much