Don't Be Afraid To Ask

*22* Saint

Annie's wrong, it's not like I have feelings for Zee.  I just wanted to finally clear things up.  Seeing Zee happy with her new boyfriend hurt just a little bit.  The most important thing was that he was alive and healthy and happy.  I was hoping P'Sky wouldn't get in my way this time.  This man is devoid of any inhibitions, he doesn't always think logically, when an idea comes to him, he just implements it, no matter how high the price people around him will have to pay.  Initially, when I started working with him, I liked his commitment, how much he cared about every detail, but later something changed.  There were rumors that he had accumulated debts due to gambling.  I wasn't able to check it.

P'Sky is great at pretending, he deceives others with his seemingly gentle smile, deceives them with his smooth words.  He separated me to Zee because he hates people like us.

I tried not to think about what he had done to me and what else he could have done.  I looked at Zee's new boyfriend and couldn't help feeling sorry for him: he was so young, so inexperienced, he didn't yet know what awaited him or what the people working with him were capable of.  I tried every opportunity to warn Zee.  I knew from my sources that Annie didn't trust this man either, which is why she didn't put him in charge of her show.  This was a chance for me to straighten things out.  But how was I supposed to do it if no one believed me?

I wanted to cry out of despair.  This man, or rather this monster, made people distrust me, consider me guilty.  I don't know if Annie will give me a chance or if I can convince anyone.  This bastard has been doing this for years, I know I'm not his only victim, but I don't know who else.  I want to fix it.  I can't give up, not now.  I don't want to go through this again, I've had enough, I want to be free of this.  I'd held it in for too long, and now it felt like the weight of my secrets was pinning me to the ground.  I'd love to shout to his face how much I hate him for what he's done.

Only I can't do it.

After talking to her, I went to the restroom to cool down.  It's been a long time since a rare conversation shook me so much.  For several days my body was still tense, as if expecting an attack that still didn't come.  I had suppressed every emotion and feeling for too many years, and now it was taking its toll on me.  I've never felt so pathetic and vulnerable, I've never cried, and now...

As I splashed cold water on my face, I looked in the mirror in front of me and saw Perth Nakhun staring at me.  When he came in here, how long did he stand behind me?  Did he see my moment of weakness?  Perth seemed like a last resort to me, if he doesn't believe me, no one else will.  I turned to him, trying to hide my emotions.

— Perth... Can we talk? Please?

Something in my tone of voice or in my gaze must have made him curious.  He agreed almost immediately.  He washed his hands and left.  I looked at my reflection one last time and saw clearly swollen and reddened eyes from crying, a slightly red nose, and bluish, cracked lips.  I haven't felt so bad in a long time.  One hand was still clenched into a fist.  The light-colored shirt I had put on for something comfortable was wrinkled.

Perth led me to the farthest table, very close to where Annie and I had sat a moment earlier, where no one could overhear us.

— Do you want something to drink?  —  He asked me.  I shook my head.  — All right.  Then tell me what it is.

— Promise me you won't tell P'Zee, please.

Perth frowned as if he wasn't sure he could promise me that.  Perhaps I was asking too much, but I didn't want to ruin the life Zee had already built for himself.  He was obviously happy, and getting between him and New would be the most selfish thing I could do.