Theories, One-Shots, Incorrect Quotes and More

CM - Morried

Reid is struggling with his cravings and accidently relapses, he goes to his lovely boyfriend for help.

TW: Drug use, Relapsing, Detailed (incorrect) use of drugs, Needles, Crying, Panic, Being high

Reid sat in the bathtub, the warm water from the shower head running over his body.

He's been clean for 7 months. Why is he still craving it? Why are the cravings getting worse? He thinks there must be something wrong with him.

Reid turns off the shower when it begins to run cold, yet he doesn't move, sitting there, shivering on the floor.

"Spence? You good in there? The water turned off like 20 minutes ago," Morgan called as he knocked on the door.

"Derek? I..." Reid trailed off.

"You alright, pretty boy?" Morgan repeats.

"You can.. you can come in," Reid swallows, resting his head on his knees.

"Alright, I'm coming in then," Morgan says. He opens the door and his face softens seeing his boyfriends position.

"Hi," Reid mumbles.

"Hey, what's wrong? Are you overwhelmed?" Morgan asks, crouching outside the tub.

Reid shakes his head.

"Tired? Stressed?"

Reid shakes his head again.

"What's up then, baby?" Morgan asks.

"You're gonna be mad.." Reid whimpers.

"I could never be mad at you, Spence," Morgan frowns. He offers his hand, which Reid takes cautiously, beginning to fidget with his fingers.

"Promise?" Reid asked.

"Promise," Morgan replies.

"I.. I've been having cravings, really bad ones.. I know I shouldn't but I still want..." Reid stops.

"Cravings?" Morgan raises an eyebrow.

"The... the dilaudid, I've been craving the high, the relief," Reid tears up as he speaks, using his free hand to rub his eyes.

"Oh baby, it happens, but you are stronger than the cravings, you are doing so well with recovery, I am so proud of you," Morgan says.

"Can we go lay down?" Reid asks.

"Of course, pretty boy, let's go get you some clothes," Morgan helps Reid up and grabs him his softest sweater and boxers.

"Thank you, Derek," Reid says, his eyes watering again, "I dont deserve you."

"Like hell you don't, I love you Spencer, don't you ever forget that, you can always come to me," Morgan says, pulling Reid closer in bed.

Reid nods and closes his eyes, falling asleep.

He wakes up in the night. The clock says it's 2 in the morning.

The cravings are worse. He needs it. He creeps to his closet, finding the pair of shoes he doesn't wear. Silently he slips his hand in them, grabbing the vile and syringe. Morgan doesn't know he kept any. He has it, just in case.

He goes into the bathroom, locking the door behind him. He sits on the toilet lid, setting his supplies on the counter next to him. He prepares the needle and pulls the sweater to above his elbow.

He plunges the needle right into the crease of his elbow,which pressing down on the syringe. As soon as he drops the empty syringe on the counter everything hits him at once.

7 months. 7 months down the drain. Derek had been so proud of him. What would he think now that he had thrown it all out the window? He couldn't trust himself anymore.

He swiftly stood up, accidentally knocking the vile to the floor, he heard it shatter but it doesn't register in his mind.

He quickly exits the bathroom, going back to bed. He paused, thinking about his options before shaking his boyfriend by the shoulder.

When Morgan feels someone shaking him, he shoots up from his sleep. He looks around to face his boyfriend. Reid looks terrified. His whole body is shaking and his eyes are blown wide as tears stream down his face.

Reid collapses on top of Morgan, burying his face in the older man's chest.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry I didn't mean to," he keep repeating through his sobs.

"Woah, woah, Spencer slow down, what's going on baby?" Morgan asks, extremely concerned about the situation.

"I.. I didn't mean to, I didn't know what I was doing, it just got so bad, I needed it," Reid hiccuped. Morgan then realized exactly what he was talking about.

"Oh baby, it's ok, I know you didn't mean to," Morgan's words all seemed to blend together in Reids head and Reids apologies turned into indecipherable blubbering as the drugs kicked in. Everything felt hazy.

He came to around 6 in the morning, feeling like crap. He was no longer in Morgan's arms, but now on the couch, he looked up and saw Morgan in the kitchen.

"Hey, there you are, pretty boy," Morgan smiled at him when he saw him start to look around.

"I'm so sorry, Derek," Reids voice came out hoarse and scratchy.

"Don't apologize, baby, I made you some coffee," Derek walks over with two mugs. He sets them on the coffee table and sits next to Reid, putting an arm over his shoulder.

"Thanks," Reid mumbled, picking up his cup.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Morgan asked. Reid shook his head.

The pair spent the rest of the day on the couch watching Star Trek. It was only 7 months, he could do that again. He could go longer next time. That's what Reid told himself over and over again.