What am i doing?

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It starts off with my childhood. I don't remember much but I remember being happy. I remember the sad times too but they were barely there. When you think about how happy you were, you start to wish you were that happy now. I don't know what I'm doing but i know time is flying by. Each day feels like the day that i'm going to die. And it's scary to me because i don't know how to stop that feeling. I ask myself if i really see myself being in college. Or do i see myself being a mother. I never feel like my life is in one piece. And even when they say they understand, I don't believe it.
One day i'll be 19, then the next day i'll be 25. Life moves so fast that i cant get a hold of it. But no matter what, all i want is to be happy. I want to laugh and smile and act as if there are no problems.

But i don't know what I'm doing. It seems like my journey will be long and sad for the rest of my life.

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