World vs me

One step foward, Three steps back

So you don't want me to have the last laugh. That small moment where i feel like I'm winning. And I'm actually winning a fair game. Fair for god to not say it was out of character. But I've lost my character plenty of times before. So much, that i can always feel when its coming. Im scared to tell the truth because nobody wants anything to do with the truth anymore. But since it's just me here, the truth is i cared times and times before. But now I'm slowly seeing that nobody is to be trusted. Even if you care, you still have to pretend that you don't. Im sorry about the way i handle my issues. The way i feel doesn't always feel real. But once you realize whats real and whats fake, nothing will seem the same anymore. Everything has changed but no one wants to admit it. Im scared to be who i am because i might not fit in. But just know, the way you treated me effects how i treat other people now. You will always have your bad ways dumped into me. Draining me. Leaving me there to keep on crawling back. Time after time I'm learning how you act. And observing is a craft. You taught me that. But everytime i move one step forward with you, its like i go three steps back.