The looks i get when i walk into a room scares me. But i force myself to act unbothered. They try to understand why I'm so closed off, but they look at me as weird also. I don't care if you think I'm weird. I'm not here for your enjoyment. I can laugh and i can cry on my own time. Im just too focused on one thing. I don't see anyone as my friend and I'm always gonna look over my shoulder. They get offended when i don't trust them but they never do anything to gain my trust. Im so tired of the labels and the assumptions, now i just ignore it or confront it. It all depends on how i feel. Im too worried about my future. My anxiety puts me in a chokehold. I needed space but I continued to be around you. Now that you are gone, i can finally grow but i still feel bad about how we left things off. I know it was my fault. But see, I'm too prideful to admit that. And so are you. Id like to paint a picture of all of this one day. I'm drowning in shallow water. Im spinning around on the same merry-go-round but i feel like i've been holding more power in me than ever. A lot of the anger i feel is slowly coming out of me. Yes I'm angry. The same system has been fucking me over for a long time, but now its my turn. The same manipulation is going to get recycled. Everything is going to come together only if i do what i need to do. I have god on my shoulder telling me what i need and what i don't. And i can admit that i don't always listen. But i know it's there. And while im still here, I'm not going to let myself suffer anymore.
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World vs me
Short StoryThis is brief but this is the most thorough. As i grow into new beginnings and new paths, I always come across problems that seem like they are stuck with me for eternity.