Love of Her Life (A Love Story Between an OB and a Neurosurgeon)

Amelia's Almost Relapse

After going to New York, Amelia and Carina went back to Seattle while Derek decided to stay in New York. Amelia was in a car accident back in February and didn't really trust herself when driving yet, so she asked Carina to on the drive back to Seattle.

Amelia's in her and Carina's bedroom whilst Carina's taking a shower.

Once Carina had gotten out of the shower, she gets ready for bed, before long Amelia's phone dings; she left the bathroom, she's a little iffy about checking her fiancé's phone, but she does it anyway. "Ame-" She reads the text message. It's Amelia's drug dealer. The text says:

Drug Dealer: Hey, so you want any oxy? I still have some

Carina goes into their room. "Amelia, you wanna do drugs again?" She asks. She knows Amelia's a recovering drug addict from when Derek blurted it out a few months back. She also knows what drug addiction is like from her own experience with her own father and it's not fun. The reoccurring urges to relapse.

Amelia immediately turns around, caught off guard by that response. "The hell?"

"I found your phone in the bathroom, your dealer texted you" Carina says, her tone a little more stern now.

Amelia gets up. She's on the opposite side of the room. "W-what the hell were you doing with my phone??"

"You left it in the bathroom after you took a shower before me, self-medicating isn't gonna help you" Carina chucks Amelia's phone onto the bed.

Amelia takes her phone back after Carina chucks it onto the bed. "I'm fine. I have been so damn tempted to answer, but really, I'm totally fine" She looks back out the window. "Everything-everything's amazing. Ya know?"

Carina raises an eyebrow. "Is it really though? Your mother is dying, you losing our babies twin not too long ago. Being in a car crash a month ago which you could've lost your life"

Just Carina mentioning everything causes Amelia to tear up. "Yup! Everything's fine. I'm good, I'm finally able to go back to what I'm good at, which is saving people. Who needs to worry when you're out there in an operating room doing things no person should be able to do? Huh? Trust me, I am FINE. I just need to be strong"

"You're not fine, Amelia, you're not okay. You have to feel something, it's the only way to move on. You can't keep running from it" Carina tells her.

"Well maybe I don't wanna feel anything. What's the point? It's not gonna stop it from happening" Amelia shrugs. "I can't-I can't let myself feel it because if I start now, I'm not sure I'm gonna be able to stop" Her voice starts to break.

"No, it's not, you're right, but you have to stop running from the emotion, you need to let go of it" Carina says.

Amelia shakes her head. She takes a deep breath. She can't even bring herself to form words right now. "I-I can't....it hurts" It feels like there's a weight on her chest. She wants to breathe, but feels like there's no air. "I can't...."

"If you take those drugs, Amelia, it might not be your last time" Carina tell her.

Amelia knows Carina's right. She hold her phone out for Carina to take it.

Carina takes her phone. "You have to let it out, it'll make you feel much better as much as it hurts"

Amelia nods a little. She tries not to, but she starts crying.

Carina's voice goes quieter as Amelia starts to cry. "Your mother's dying baby, I'm so sorry"

Amelia starts crying even harder. Her knees have gone weak. She has one hand on her chest, the other on the wall.

Carina pulls Amelia into a hug. "It's gonna be okay"

Amelia breaks down crying. She's pretty much screaming whilst sobbing at this point. She falls into Carina.

Carina's just pretty much holding her at this point, until they both fall to the ground, sitting on their knees.

Amelia eventually hugs Carina back, holding her tightly. She can't seem to stop crying.

Carina's still just holding her tightly. "I know it hurts, Amelia, but you'll feel better"

Amelia's now struggling to breathe. She's got that sort of wheezy cry you get when you've been crying for a while.

Carina just stays with her stroking her hair. "Just breathe..."

Amelia's trying so hard to breathe, but she feels like she can't.

The fact that Amelia is pretty much going through the same thing that Carina did breaks her inside. "Hey, look at me...breathe okay? I've got you. Copy me, okay?" She does the breathing thing, ya know, that breathing thing that you do to cam people down when they have panic attacks.

Amelia tries to breathe. She copies Carina.

"You're doing good, just like that for me" Carina says to Amelia.

***************

After a while and once Amelia had calmed down, Amelia falls asleep cuddled into Carina's arms. Carina had also fallen asleep on the floor.

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A/N: So Carina just helped stop Amelia from relapsing. It's giving Amelia's almost relapsing vibes from the scene with her and Owen after Derek died.