you look so cool. (matty healy)

six

I sit and stare at the pancakes sitting on my coffee table in disbelief. There's no way it wasn't from him, who else knows this is my favorite food? Unsure of what to do I head down to the lobby and greet the building security guard. I ask him "do you remember who dropped off a bag for me, maybe about an hour ago?"

The security replies no, but he would be happy to look at the camera footage. I tap my fingers nervously on the front desk as I wait for him to pull up the footage. He clears his throat signaling me to look over at the screen.

"Doesn't look like anyone came in, the bag simply appears on the desk and is picked up by your assistant. Weird, but maybe the deliverer simply passed by the cameras." He replied.

I thank him and wander back to my office how in the hell there was no clue as to who brought this here. I doubt Matty is in London, he usually heads home when not touring. Not that I'd know of course, but from what I've heard he steers clear of London.

I pack up my things, for real this time, and grab my pancakes and hop in the elevator to head back home. On the walk home I throw on my headphones and press play on my current favorite playlist. I've been in an Alt-Rock mood lately, lots of Arctic Monkeys and Inhaler.

I walk home to the beat of Inhaler's cover "Fade into You". The slow melody eases my anxieties and questions as head to my flat. I personally think London is the best city in the world, I grew up here and I love it. It's get a bad rap for being a big, touristy city, but I wouldn't want to live anywhere else.

I have my memories of growing up here, my family, amongst other importances I try not to dwell on. I think one of the reasons I don't leave is because I know he can always find me here.

As much as I act as though I don't care, London was the last place we were together, and he knows I stayed. Maybe one day we will reconnect here, but I don't except anything of the sorts. That'd be silly after all these years.

I arrive home, and am greeted with purring from my cat, Clementine. I got her after I moved out to my own place. My parents were allergic to cats and I had always wanted one, once I signed the lease I walked over to the shelter and brought my girl home.

I give her some love and then head into the kitchen. I don't really have anything I could whip up for dinner, but I reluctantly pull out the container out of the plastic bag and set my pancakes down on the table.

I sit and eat by myself, but it dawns on me. This is the first time I had ever eaten my favorite pancakes without Matty. I never realized how much of an impact he had on me to this day, I subconsciously avoided all the things that reminded me of us.

Startled by the realization, I lose my appetite. This day has been so shitty, I'm ready to leave it all behind. As I get up to hop in the shower my phone pings with a text from my best friend, Sloane.

I've known Sloane for about five years. We oddly enough met each other at a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert. I went up to tell her I loved her boots, and we hit it off instantly.

She's been by my side through it all, and she knows everything about my turbulent past. I've never been the type to have a big friend group, so Sloane is really all I've got, but she's the absolute best.

messages with sloane <3:

sloane <3: hey girl! long time no see, but guess what...

sloane <3: I got us a table at Tabu this friday night! u are coming, no excuses.

me: omg what? how did u manage that

me: ofc I'll be there, you are the best

sloane <3: meet me there at 9 pm :))) xoxo

Sloane was a bit of a party animal, and don't get me wrong I love to go out and have a fun night every now and then, but how she managed a table at Tabu I don't know. Tabu is a super exclusive night club, celebrities are spotted almost every night there.

I've only been twice before, both times with Matty. I won't lie, it's honestly incredible. The atmosphere, the music, everything about it is worth the hype.

After the day I've had, I definitely deserve a night out and to have some fun with my best friend.

drama incoming !!.....