you look so cool. (matty healy)

forty-nine

Matty's POV

Am I an awful person if I say that the past two years of my life have quite possibly been some of the best ever?

Of course I miss Luna, I miss her so damn much, but the band has really taken off. In the past two years we've completely exploded on an international scale, with millions of followers and listeners. I've spent the past years with my best friends doing what we love most, making music, but now my feelings have started to shift. We have a new album coming out in the coming days, 'Loving Someone'. Big fucking guess as to who that someone is that I'm loving. I'll give you one hint, she's the love of my life, my best friend, and the woman I spent two years thinking and writing about.

I'm incredibly proud of this new album, we wrote all the lyrics and George produced the entire album which I know he was psyched about. But, as our two year run of touring has ended I feel myself being pulled into a different direction.

Tour ended and the guys and I were dropped off at the airport, like old toys a child was over playing with. I felt completely empty. As much as I love performing, it's draining. With the tour over I had nothing to look forward to, no one to head home to.

I don't want to spend my life living out of a suitcase, I mean hell as much as I love touring I don't even really have a home anymore. I haven't been in one city for more than two weeks in I don't know how fucking long. The tour wrapped and George went home to Manchester to stay with Charli, Adam went to Manchester with his wife, Carly, and Ross went back with his parents to spend some time with them. And as they left I realized all the people in my life that I loved were no longer with me. Hell I had nowhere to go.

I'll never forget the feeling of standing at the airport entrance, all I had was my suitcase, passport, and phone. I had no plans, no ticket, and an entire month before we played our next show, in Los Angeles.

There was only one person I wanted to see at that moment, Luna.

Before I could do anything though, I had to make a stop in London, and there was only one thing on my mind I felt I needed to do. So, out of spontaneity I bought the last ticket on the last flight out to London of the night, and flew back home. While I had been living in Manchester for several years, I had kept a storage unit in London with some shit that I had left back before I moved, and was simply too lazy to ever move back up north. In this storage unit is something I never anticipated I would have to have on hand, but it's been two years now and I haven't really heard anything from Luna, so with desperate time comes extreme measures.

Upon landing in the UK several hours later, I book some random hotel on my phone, and hail a cab to drop me off so that I can drop off my excessively large luggage.

After checking into the hotel and dropping all my shit off into my room, I grab my headphones, and head outside to walk around the city and make my way to the storage centre.

I'm an emotional guy right? Very chivalrous and romantic some might say, and I have always upheld an affinity for writing letters. To me there is nothing more personal than feeling so strongly about someone or something that you are compelled to make that thought known permanently on paper. That was kinda our thing, Luna and I, writing letters. For the past two years without fail I've sent her one letter a week. Usually they're just stupid stories of what the guys and I got up to on tour, but some of them were really heartfelt and emotional. I'd had a lot of long nights of missing Luna and her energy, she brought so much joy into my life and made me better. I confessed some really deep shit in those letters. I told her about my failures, about my insecurities, I even confessed to her my celibacy.