you look so cool. (matty healy)

thirty-four

Today is the Philly show. I haven't seen much of Matty today, he left this morning pretty early simply saying, 'he had a couple things to do,' whatever that means. At least he woke me up before he left, kissing me on the forehead before quietly slipping out the door. I was disappointed to not have more time with him, but we spent all of yesterday together, so I recognize he probably has stuff to get done for tour with the guys and stuff. And I'd hate to be that bitchy, clingly girl who doesn't let him hang out with the boys, so I simply whisper to him, "see you later," before I drift back off to sleep.

I finally get out of bed around 10 am, the show isn't until 8 pm, so I have lots of time to myself. I'm a super independent person, so I'm definitely grateful to have some time to explore on my own. I get dressed in a simple outfit, a black midi dress that I paired with a knitted brown cardigan. I put on some simple Doc Martens, a black purse, and I put my hair half-up half-down with a pearl hair claw.

I grab my sunglasses and my headphones before I head out the door to take in the city sights. I love cities, the buzz and constant movement gives me a rush I love. The hotel is in downtown Philly, and the streets are already alive even this early in the morning. Today I'm feeling very main character, so I toss on a playlist with lots of The Smiths, The Cure, and throw some Lana in there too. I make my way down the street as my ears fill with the sounds of 'This Charming Man' and I take in the new sights.

Being a coffee fiend, I know I need to head over to grab a cup. I walk a couple blocks until I find a cute local shop, and head in. They have some fun coffees, and I decide to try something new, ordering an iced lavender matcha. The barista comments on my English accent, and I laugh nervously, explaining I'm just visiting for work. "Welcome to the States," the barista says to me. They hand me a croissant and say, "It's on us, have a great trip." I smile and thank them, grateful for their small act of kindness.

I stroll along with my coffee in one hand, and treat in the other. I spend my day wandering in and out of local shops and haunts. As the clock nears the evening, I make one last stop. I see a super cool looking record shop, and make my way down the block. Inside, I am shocked to see an all too fmailiar vinyl sitting right up front. I beam, how sick is it to see the guys' work all over the world. I snap a picture, taking a mental note to show the guys later. I'm sure they're all so annoyed with me, I mean they're a pretty known band it's not crazy to expect a vinyl shop to have their music, but it blows my mind everytime nonetheless. 

I make my way back to the hotel, heading into the lobby exhausted. I head back to my room which I find empty. I'm weirdly disappointed, I thought just maybe he'd have come back before the show. My phone reads that it's almost 5 pm, so I order some room service and begin to get myself ready. 

I decide to just wear the same outfit, but I throw on some simple makeup, just some brown smudged eyeliner, mascara, and blush. I usually don't wear too much makeup, but the fans and social media shit has definitely gotten to me a bit. It seems they hate me enough, I can't imagine if they got a photo of me barefaced in pajamas, I can already see the captions.

After I eat a quick meal, I grab my purse, and my VIP pass, and call an Uber to drop me off at the venue. I'll be early, but I'm hoping to see Matty and maybe the band. I'd also like to get a bit more up-close with the set design, and take a look at all the details we've changed following the first show. Matty requested just one thing to be changed- he wanted another ashtray, which was a pretty easy fix.

I get dropped off outside the venue, and head in, walking towards where I was told the artist lounges would be. I first sutmble upon the catering area, where I snag two beers, one for Matty and one for myself. I see Jaime and ask where I could find Matty, and he walks me to his room. I feel like such a child making Jaime take me aorund, but hell I had no idea what room was his and I absolutely did not want to walk in on something I shouldn't.

I knock and walk in. I come in and see him slumped on the sofa surrounded by guitars, papers, and other insturments. "What's goin' on in here?" I ask him. "Hey," he says back to me. I walk towards him and plop next to him on the couch. 

"What've you been up to today?" I ask him. He shifts, looking a bit uncomfortable. "Well, you remember that song I played the other morning right?" He asks me. I nod, not following what he's getting at. "Well anyway, I really fell in love with it, and I came here to finish it up, wanted to show ya tonight." He says to me, blushing at bit at his honesty. "Matty, stop. I absolutley can't wait to hear it." I say to him. "Um yeah, well it actually came to me super easily, just have the most amazing inspiration I guess," he says with a shrug. "But uh yeah, I called the band in and we recorded it," he says.

I pull him in for a kiss and tell him, "Your brain absolutely amazes me Matty." He looks down at my head resting on his arm, "it's nothin' without you, Lu."

We just look at each other for a couple seconds, before Matty breaks eye contact and says, "We're gonna call it 'This Must Be My Dream' and I mean hell I don't know if it's gonna come out or what, but yeah, thanks for the help with that," he says with a small laugh.

We hang out in his dressing room chatting about our days, and how excited we are for the show until Matty has to head out to be onstage. I kiss him good luck, and follow him out, walking towards the VIP section of the floor. I think I could get used to this I think to myself.