Oel Ngati Kameie |I see you| Lo'ak x reader

Acceptance

Warnings: Thoughts of self harm

POV:Nīya
Its been 5 months since the Sully's have left. I honestly don't know who I am anymore. I've lost myself ever since Lo'ak left.

It wasn't intentional, it just happened over time. I can't help it.

I don't talk to anyone anymore. I don't even talk to Tsireya. After the day I told her to leave me alone, she hasn't came back since. I kinda miss her.

I know what I said hurt her, but she has to understand I'm hurt too. Lo'ak leaving isn't just something I can simply get over, even though it's been 5 months.

Lo'ak made a light in me shine. A light I never knew I had. And now that light is no longer lit. I haven't ate, I don't know how long it's been but it's definitely been a while. I tried to force myself to eat but I physically can't.

I was playing with my hair. Some small strands started falling out. That's weird...

Just then I heard foot steps coming towards my hut.

"Nīya? Nīya honey, are you okay? I'm worried about you?"

I ignored her as always. I expected her to walk away, but instead she walked in. She loudly gasped. She looked like she just seen a ghost.

"Mother? What's wrong?"

"Oh Nīya honey...." She began to hysterically cry.

"Mom can you tell me what's going on?" She was worrying me.

"Honey, look in the mirror." She covered her mouth with her hand.

Well that wasn't offensive at all. I got up to look in the mirror.

"Mom I'm fi-" I loudly gasped at myself.

All I seen was a dead version of myself staring back at me. My eye bags were dark. I could see my ribs. My muscles had disappeared. My hair was messy. I was so skinny. I looked like a walking corpse.

I mean what did I think what would happen from not eating? But I didn't think it was this bad.

I then realized, that's why everyone was looking at me the day I went out, which was 4 months ago.

I haven't been out since. It must have not been that bad compared to now.

"Nīya, I thought you were eating the food I left for you?" She wiped her tears as more came.

"I-I did....kinda." My eyes began to tear. Why did I do this to myself? I began to regret it. Seeing my mothers reaction hurt my heart.

"Nīya thi-this isn't good, like at all..." She said quietly.

"What...you think I wanted to be like this? None of this would have happened if it wasn't for your son!" I began to raise my voice.

It wasn't my fault, it was Ao'nung's.

"Honey he was just looking out for yo-"

I scoffed loudly. "Looking out for me? I don't need him to make decisions for me, I'm 18, not a kid. He never cared so why does he care now?!"

She didn't answer me. What's new. No one ever had a answer for me. I always had to find things out myself.

"Nīya....I'm sorry."

Before I could say anything else, she quickly walked out. I began balling my eyes out.

Everyone's always saying sorry but never give me a reason to forgive them. They always have nothing to say to me, they just walk out on me.