haunted

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TW; mentions of rape. read at your own discretion.
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Idea was requested
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Please remember, if you are a victim it is NOT your fault and I'm always here to talk <3
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I stumbled into the chateau, once again hammered, trying my best to slip my shoes off, "Dammit." I cursed as I lost my balance and slipped onto the floor. The living room light instantly flicked on as my brother and boyfriend stood there staring at me, angry looks on their faces.

"What the fuck, Y/n?" John B groaned as he walked over and picked me up off the ground, "Sixth day in a row you came home wasted, what's up with you?" My brother continued. I shook him off and tried to balance myself but I couldn't, my body flipped into the couch and I gave up, sighing in defeat.

"I got it, JB." JJ stepped in and walked over to me, I could tell by his voice he was upset with me but I didn't care. The alcohol made me not care, it made me forget about the bad things that happened to me a week ago.

"No, JJ, let her do it herself. She wants to turn into a damn alcoholic let her struggle." My brother gently pushed JJ away and they both stood a few feet from me.

"I hate you both." I frowned, pushing myself up and untying my shoes before kicking them off, they went flying in separate directions onto the floor.

"Come to bed." JJ held his hand out and I slapped it away, making him turn away and take a deep breath, "Alright, what's up with you!? You come home drunk every day, you won't sleep next to me, won't let me touch you, what the hell is it!?"

"JJ, chill, man." My brother calmed down, now realizing that yelling at me wasn't the best way to handle this.

"You wanna know!?" I stood up and they both looked at me as tears formed in my eyes, "Remember when I told you guys those kooks jumped me last week in that alley?" I winced remembering that day, the day that's going to change my life forever.

"Yeah." John B replied, they both looked to each other then back to me, both confused.

"The—they," I took a deep breath. I didn't know why I was deciding to tell them, maybe it was the alcohol or some type of cry for help. I knew I couldn't keep drowning myself in alcohol, all it did was numb the pain, only for it to return the second I woke up, "They-" I tried saying again but sobs escaped my lips, I held the back of my hand to my mouth as I cried.

"They what, Y/n?" JJ asked, his jaw clenching as he took a step towards me but I, yet again, flinched away.

"You can tell us. I'm your brother, Y/n, you can tell me anything and JJ-" John B looked to my boyfriend, "JJ loves you more than anything, he cares about you, we care about you. Just tell us what's going on...what happened?"

I pulled my arms around my body for a sense of security, "They, uh, they lifted the skirt I was wearing and held me down and—" I paused, squeezing my eyes shut tightly to try and not relive the memory. But I couldn't fight it, it was engraved in my brain for the rest of eternity.

"They raped you." JJ finished my sentence.

"And I didn't say anything because I felt like I cheated on you," I cried as I held my hand out to JJ, "And you always tell me not to dress like that so I—" I then gestured to my brother. The duo looked at me with broken expressions, having tears of their own forming in their eyes.

I felt JJ place his hands on either side of my face as I opened my eyes, "You were raped, Y/n. You are the victim. You did not cheat on me. What you were wearing does not matter." I continued to cry as he pulled me into his chest as my brother rubbed his hand up and down my back.

"I'm so sorry, Y/n." John B whispered. My arms went around JJ's torso as I clung to him as if my life depended on it, "I get it now, the drinking and parting and I'm so sorry."

"I just wanna go to sleep." I begged.

"I can sleep on the couch, you can have the whole bed to yourself—"

"No, please, no—" I cut JJ off, "I want you to play with my hair and rub my back, please?" I looked up at him. I felt broken. Unrepairable, "I'm so sorry for pushing you away, I'm so sorry!"

"Hey, hey," JJ held my face to look at him, "It's okay, you're okay, I'm not mad."

I wrapped my arms up and around him as he lifted my legs around his body, "I'm gonna take her to bed." JJ told my brother.

"I love you, sis." John B said as he peaked around JJ's back to see me. I sent him a small wave and a weak smile.

"Goodnight, JB, I love you too." JJ began walking down the hall as I held onto him, my fingers tracing small circles onto the fabric of his shirt.

JJ sat me down in the bed gently and turned to grab some clothes from my dresser, "Here's some pajamas."

"Can you, uh, turn around, please?" I asked him, my voice barely above a whisper. Any other time I would just change in front of him but things were different now. I knew JJ would never hurt me or force anything onto me but the memories haunted me. The way those men grabbed my body and forced me around, it's like I could still feel their hands on me.

"I'll stand in the hall and you open the door when you're changed, does that sound okay?" JJ asked. I nodded my head as he exited the room and I changed, cracking the door open when I was done.

"Thank you." I grabbed his hand and pulled him towards me, he now was standing between my legs as I sat on the bed. I let my head rest onto his abdomen as his hands ran through my hair, "I'm really sorry, JJ."

"For what? You have nothing to be sorry for, I promise. It's not your fault."

"I feel dirty, like I did something wrong." I looked up at him, trying my best not to let any more tears fall.

"Baby, you didn't do anything wrong, they did." He responded. I closed my eyes and nodded my head before pulling the blankets down and crawling underneath. I held the blanket open for him and he carefully laid down, every move he made he would look at me to make sure it was okay.

When my head hit the pillow we laid facing each other, "Can I hold you?" He whispered.

Instead of using words I scooted closer to him and gently tugged his arm over my waist as I snuggled my head under his chin, "I love you, I'm sorry I didn't tell you guys sooner."

"I love you too," He paused and kissed the top of my head, "I'm just glad you told us. If there's anything I can do to help tell me, I'll do it."

"Okay." I exhaled, finally letting my body relax, "Can you rub my back and trace shapes like you always do?" I asked, my voice being a bit muffled by the fabric of his shirt.

"Of course." When his fingers first hit my back I tensed, making him pause, "It's me, baby, it's JJ." He reminded. I let out a deep breath and nodded my head as he continued tracing various shapes onto my back.

It took almost an hour but I managed to fall asleep and for the first time in seven days, I didn't have a nightmare.

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