Always A Pleasure [Book 2]

Sixty-Three

08.21.2023 — This is a chapter in a TEN part update that includes chapters 55-64. Please make sure to read chapter 55 first!

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Harrison held Katherine tightly as she fell asleep. She didn't mind it though, since she had been feeling so out of sorts from what happened. She just needed a bit of normalcy to end the night. Harrison's warm embrace was exactly where she wanted to be and she fell asleep feeling his love.

But when she woke up, she woke up alone. Just the tiniest hint of a sunrise was present in the sky. Way too early for even Harrison to be awake, especially with the late hour that they went to sleep, yet his side of the bed was cold.

Katherine pulled off the blankets and slipped out of the bed, wandering out of their bedroom to find him. The house was dark, yet she still checked the living room for him, but it was empty. When she saw a sliver of light coming from underneath Harrison's home office door, she knew she had found him.

She quietly and carefully opened the door, finding Harrison sitting on the couch in there, the lamp next to it illuminating the space.

"Harrison," she breathed, surveying his face. He looked worried, almost wracked with guilt and it tugged at her heart.

"Mon amour," she breathed, and it was only then that he registered her presence.

"Angel," he whispered, his voice cracking with disuse as he looked up at her.

"What are you doing?"

"Thinking."

"Thinking? You can think in the morning. Come back to bed," she urged as she sat down gingerly beside him.

If she hadn't been so focused on him, she would have missed the minute shake of his head.

"Harrison, what's the matter?" She asked carefully as her eyebrows furrowed in worry.

His sad brown eyes looked up into hers a moment later and it caused her heart to squeeze painfully in her chest. He was deeply plagued by something and it caused worry to completely wreak havoc on her insides.

"Harrison..." She breathed unevenly.

"You don't have to stay," he told her vaguely as his vision fell away from her, causing the confusion that she felt to grow exponentially.

"What?" She asked, feeling a stale panic in her chest as her blood felt like it was stinging in her veins.

What did that mean? Stay in the room with him? Stay with him? What was he talking about?

"Don't stay with me because that's what I want. If-if I'm not what's best for you, Katherine, I'll let you go," he told her, causing an immediate attack on her heart.

"What?" She choked out.

"If I'm not what's best for you— You... You've just got to tell me right now. I'll let you go."

What the hell was happening? Was she in a dream? A nightmare? Why was he saying those things? He would let her go? No. Absolutely not. She wouldn't let him.

"Where is this coming from? Harrison... What is this about? I thought we were okay," she said desperately as the panic began to swell inside of her.

He wasn't even looking at her. It was like he was actively avoiding looking in her eyes, like it would pain him if he did.

"Katherine, I'm-I'm not... good," he told her, sounding so sincere.

She hated that he thought that about himself. No matter how many times she tried to make him realize what a good man he was, his self-esteem had been knocked around too much in his formative years to ever have a positive outlook on himself. It broke her heart.

"Harrison, that's not true," she said sadly.

"It is true. It is," he insisted, causing the pain in her heart to balloon.

"Is this because of tonight? Harrison—"

"I can't be the one who pulls you down, Katherine. I can't. I knew from the beginning that I would. I knew it. I fucking knew it, but I still went after you."

He was so distressed. She had never seen him like that.

"Harrison, please stop. Stop this," Katherine told him, feeling like her heart was dying inside her chest.

"I'll only bring you down."

"Stop it. Harrison, look at me," Katherine snapped, grabbing his chin to get him to face her, though he did everything to avoid looking in her eyes, "Look at me, Harrison."

When his vision finally met with hers, she could see the pain in his eyes as plain as day and it hurt her heart even worse.

"I love you, Harrison. I love you. That's not going to change. I don't know where you got it in your head that you're this terrible person and I'd be better off without you, but—"

"It's true," he said evenly, cutting her off.

She grabbed his hands in hers before she began to speak again.

"It's not true. I can't... I can't even imagine what my life would look like without you in it. Harrison, god, you've brought me so much happiness. I can't even begin to explain how you make me feel. I am so in love with you, it hurts. And if you... if you decided to walk away from me, if this were to end, I don't know how I would go on without you. I really don't."

"Katherine," he breathed, his expression scrunching up with emotion.

"So don't you ever talk like this with me again, okay. I don't ever want to hear you talk about yourself that way again. You are loved. You are a good man. You're the best man. Don't— Just don't talk about yourself like that again. It really hurts me. It hurts me a lot," Katherine told him, feeling tears sting in her eyes as her emotion lumped in her throat.

"And I don't ever want to hear you trying to give up on us again. Do you hear me?" She added sternly.

"Katherine," he choked out. He looked so vulnerable.

"I'm not going anywhere, Harrison. And I hope you're not either," she promised.

"I'm not. I'm not. I promise," he told her as he desperately grabbed for her, wrapping his arms tightly around her.

"Good," she breathed into his shoulder as she hugged him back.

"I love you, Harrison. More than you'll ever know. The way you feel about me — it's the same way I feel about you," she told him as she pulled back to look in his eyes.

"You make me feel a lot," he breathed as he pressed his forehead to hers.

"Let's put this behind us," she proposed and he gently nodded his head against hers.

"Okay," he said as he pulled back, sucking in a sniffle through his nose.

"Come to bed, baby. I need you to hold me," she told him and he nodded his head again.

"C'mon," Katherine coaxed as she got up from the couch and took his hand.

He stood on his feet before she guided him out of the office and into their bedroom. She slipped the t-shirt off her body, wanting to be skin to skin with him. Harrison undressed too before they quietly crawled into bed together. She waited for him to settle before she curled up in his arms.

"I love you," she murmured as her fingers gently drew circles in the small patch of hair on his chest.

"You make me feel a lot, angel," he breathed before kissing her forehead.

"We're okay. Tell me you're okay," she said a moment later.

"I'm okay. We're okay," he answered softly, tightening his arms around her for a moment before relaxing again.

"Good."