Medications for ADHD and BPD. They make me feel horrible. It's like they replaced the mood swings and hyperactivity with an empty void of nothing. Therapy session after therapy session. Sometimes in groups. Kids like me, and yet nothing like me. Sometimes alone. Those never seem to accomplish anything. They're trying to figure me out. To learn why I am the way I am. They say the same things I've heard a hundreds times. I don't know why they lie to me. It's not going to make me believe it. I don't know why I thought this was a good idea. I feel so alone. I felt hopeful at first but not anymore. But leaving would be giving up and I don't want that either. You know when a patient enters the infirmary, blood everywhere and you'll say you'll do your best but you lock eyes with your siblings and know there's nothing you can do for this person because they're too far gone already? I think that's what I am. Already too messed up. Too far gone for healing.
