It's funny how a lot of times people will think I have a crush on them but I just feel platonic love very strongly for all my friends but in a romantic-normative world they'd probably think I was really weird if I told them all the time even though it's just platonic. Maybe I'm not explaining this right. Will says when you love someone you get excited when you'll get a message from them but honestly I just get excited when I get a message from anyone because I love attention and knowing people are thinking about me. He said you'll just know because it feels different. Does it feel different or not? Whenever I think about it I get so frustrated I want to bang my head again a wall. I know Eleanor is okay without labels but I think it would be so much easier if I could just know. Sometimes I wish we could start over and meet right now and everything with Livi never happened.
