I talked to Eleanor about it. I was overthinking, as usual. She's not upset or weirded out or anything. She said she loves me and nothing will change that, and that I've never made her uncomfortable or made her feel pressured into anything. She promised to tell me if it's ever too much and I hope she does. We made out and then she took off her shirt and let me touch her boobs and she touched mine, with my shirt on though. I wonder if she ever did that with Livi. I'm still scared but less now. Then she told me she wanted to stop so we did. She asked if I felt love. I do. She always makes me feel love and loved. She makes me so happy. Someday I think I want to do that thing with her that's more than just kissing and touching. And she told me maybe she does too. But not yet. I'm so glad she understands. I'm the luckiest girl in the entire world.
