Eleanor and I went out for dinner tonight. When we got back we were lying down and she started playing with my bra strap. I felt comfortable taking off my shirt and my bra and letting her touch me that way. She said I'm beautiful and perfect and a bunch of other things and it made me feel so good. The truth is she just makes everything beautiful because she is so beautiful and she is everything. She saw all the scars I made. "But I'm better now," I said. She didn't run away, like a small part of me thought she might. She didn't think they were gross. She kissed them all, one by one, and then kissed all down my neck. She told me she felt a weird feeling and she asked if I felt it too. I told her yes. She asked me if we did do that thing how do we do it exactly? I'm not totally sure to be honest. I never thought I would be comfortable with any of this, with the touching or—not with her or with anyone. Not til now. I guess I'm still figuring myself out. This is what I've been missing out on I guess. I really like it; knowing that I can trust her with anything at all. Maybe Someday is closer than we thought. I really don't know how I got so lucky to have someone like her. To have her. All I know is that we're forever, no matter what happens.
