From the Beggining - Damiano David

CHAPTER 28 - Afterthoughts

Posted: 22nd of March 2023

While having lunch my brain was distracted by her so I didn't have the chance about what just happened in that elevator. 

After eating out I decided to end the day there and go back to my hotel room.

Luckily it was empty, Sofia was probably exploring the city.

I opened the glass balcony doors and stepped out. I felt the need to smoke a cigarette. I hadn't smoked since my teenage years, but at this situation I really needed one to calm my nerves. Sadly I didn't have one. Neither I nor Sofia smoke.

I sat down on the cold tiles and rested my side on the glass fence around the edges to look out to the bustling city. Of course there were normal chairs I could have sat on, but at this moment they were almost invisible to me.

Now I couldn't help myself but think what he was thinking. Was he sad? mad? confused? 

I let myself drown in those thoughts and finish the rest of the bottle. I watched as the clouds passed by.

Seconds, minutes, hours passed while I stared helplessly at the sky feeling for myself.

I felt angry at the whole world. 

I wanted to punch the first person I saw, to smash the next dish that got into my hands. I wanted to destroy something. But I couldn't move. I couldn't move a muscle.

Not long after I heard the lock of the door click. Sofia was back.

I didn't want her to see me like this, but I also wanted to tell her how I felt and feel her sympathy.

"Y/n! Are you here?" she must have seen the open balcony doors because the next second she was kneeling down next to me. "What happened?"

The part which wanted to spill everything out was stronger and overtook. "I saw him, not only saw him, I spoke to him."

"Oh, y/n, come on, let's get you inside." Her words were soothing, Sofia wrapped a hand around my waist and helped me get to bed. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"I don't know," I said truthfully, "It's really complicated, I miss him, but I want to hate him at the same time. How does that work? I mean, he hurt my feelings, he really did, he left only a note, that's it." The words still sometimes rang in my head. "Why can't I hate him?"

"Because you love him." Sofia said softly.

"Sof, you can't say stuff like that! No, no. It can't be. I do not love him."

She released a breath. "Get some sleep, we can talk later."

I didn't feel like arguing so I laid down and dozed off to the kingdom off dreams where I didn't need to think about the complicated thoughts about my conscious mind, even when I was drunk, the feeling and thoughts were too strong.

 Next post: 29th of March 2023 - 22n of April 2023

Word count: 0.5k

I literally wrote the whole chapter and then accidentally deleted it. My angers issued couldn't hold that so wrote this chapter out of anger. Cheers!