Lan Wangji knew exactly what he wanted.
It is for Xiao zhan To come back and let him fix every bit of his mistakes.
"I Wanna....go back.." Lan Wangji looked at Xiao Zhan with his piteous eyes
Xiao Zhan didn't know what to say... however, he did want for Everything between them to be fixed but Xiao zhan knew that those years of suffering without Lang Wangji is something that he should never forget
Lan Wangji made him feel self doubt that he had never truly felt until Lan Wangji decided to come into his life, make him happy and then painfully destroy him in a manner that even he, who used to be strong in handlings emotions, was made to act like crazy.
He knew in himself that if her gave Lam Wangji a chance, he'd hate himself more and he didn't want that. If anything, he didn't want Lan Wangji in his life anymore. If only he could just erase his feelings for Lang Wangji...how good would it be?
"Do you really think...that you still have a place to go back to?" Xiao Zhan looked at Lan Wangji with his cold glare
"You're still here."
Xiao Zhan sarcastically laughed.
"If you could live without me for 2 years...why can't you live without me for 3,4,5,6,7 years or even more than a Decade?! Why?! Isn't it just a cycle of living those 2 years where I'm not part of you life?!"
"But living those cycles means that I'll live in misery all my life! And I'm not up for that! I came here to live happily with you! I didn't....I didn't want for this to happen..." lan Wangji's tears started falling...
Xiao Zhan kept quiet...
"I was just...it was so easy for you to leave in the past...so why can't you leave in the future?"
"How would I ever dare to repeat a mistake that costed me years of suffering? I want to be happy."
"If you wanted to be happy and I really am the source of your happiness, you wouldn't have left me."
"I was worthless, I didn't have any value."
"Funny how you say that when you know damn well that I value everything about you! I would have...I would have treasured you even if you were to be described as a 'Garbage'!"
"I wasn't strong enough.."
"Excuses! I don't wanna hear anymore! Just fucking do whatever you want! Chase after me or not! I've decided to not care!"
Lan Wangji's eyes lit up, does Xiao Zhan mean that he's giving him the privilege to chase after him?
Lan wangji looked at Xiao Zhan to see Xiao Zhan's cold glare.
"My hate for you...is inefable."
Xiao Zhan then walked away.
Lan Wangji kept silent until he couldn't anymore...
His whimpers started to grow out of control and he had no choice but to make out little sniffing sounds.
It's okay, he deserved it.
He deserves all the pain he's feeling right now.
But it'll all pass away, because no matter what, he believes that his love for Xiao Zhan can conquer all, including Xiao Zhan's hatred.
************************************
After Lang Wangji Left, Xiao Zhan had unknowingly picked a habit of writing a poem to let out all his pent-up feelings and frustrations.
And that's what he's doing.... writing a poem about their encounter to try and make himself feel better.
"I was left scarred
Because You were scared
My life used to be he
But I found out, we were not to be
My feelings was hurt
After being left like a dirt
I wish for nothing more but your
Regret
And that, I was able to get
I'm not happy my love
I'm still in love
But you're so chill
It wavers my will"
......Xiao Zhan turned blank after writing, turns out,even his poem made no sense.
But somehow, he felt better. Because his poem described how he felt, it was inefable and didn't make sense, just like his feelings.
Xiao Zhan looked out his window to see Lan Wanji in the ocean.
The nerve of this guy to look good even in his back view and in such a far away distance.
Xiao Zhan suddenly reached out his hand as if trying to get a hold of his Lan Wangji.
"I don't hate you...I hate myself for wanting you so much to the point of no return. I can restart and I can't end it. That's what you are to me Lan Wanji, a constant the disaster."
Xiao Zhan knew that he was acting ridiculous, but what could be more ridiculous than his boundless love for Lan Wangji?
If it's for Lan Wangji, he'd willingly go crazy.
After a lot of thinking, Xiao Zhan could not help but mock himself.
just a while ago he wanted Lang Wangji to get out of his sight and life, but now that he's far away from Lan Wangji, he craves every Bit of Lan Wangji.
Ahhh Xiao Zhan-an...what do you really want?
It was a question that has an obvious answer, for ever since, there was only one thing that he's ever wanted, and it's a person that is Called Lang Wangji.
An Ethereal human being that does nothing but makes him lose his mind.
Xiao Zhan smiled in a mocking way.
It's funny how Xiao Zhan was even able to think that he would be able to eradicate the annoying fever that his Lan Wangji caused him.
I hope you never give up Lan Wangji....my feelings are wavering and it's contradicting every bit of my rationality...that's why I know...it wouldn't take long until Lan Wangji catches me.
But until then,I'll keep testing and challenging Lan Wangji in chasing me.
Lan Wangji
Lan Wangji
Lan Wangji
Lan Wangji
Lan Wangji
Lan Wangji
Everything about you...I like it so much I'm going crazy.
I hope you won't get tired easily Lan Wangji, because I never did.
YOU ARE READING
XIAO ZHAN,YOU ARE MY WEI YING!
Fanfiction"you can't possibly make 'wei ying' as your password!it's not qualified!you need something like 123 for God's sake!not Wei ying!" Exclaimed Jiang Cheng Incredulously while looking at Lan Wangji! "what did you just say?!"said Lan Wangji while alread...
